


Of Three Hearts and Rainstorms

by FrenchBlue32



Category: AB6IX (Band), Amuse Entertainment, CIX, MAGNUM (Korea Band), Silverboys - Fandom, TREASURE (Korea Band), Treasure 13, YG Entertainment | YG Family, YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Choi Hyunsuk-centric, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Implied Relationships, Introspection, Kim Junkyu-centric, Light Angst, Metaphors, No Romance, Symbolism, These tags are a mess I apologize, if more members get mentioned i'll add them, not really at least, set a bit before first vlive on official TREASURE vlive channel to meet at the Hongdae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-03-09 23:24:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18927082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchBlue32/pseuds/FrenchBlue32
Summary: The hurricane of YG Treasure Box passes and in its wake lay the aftermath: rubbles of dreams, messes of hearts, and a shine in the sky that’s barely visible through the clouds. For the ones who made it, their battle for debut is over, leaving a blanket of quiet in the dorms, even with the kids to fill up the space. Hyunsuk is pushed to fill in the role as the eldest and the leader. Junkyu is forced to stand in the position of experience and support. They make it work.





	1. Chapter 1

Hyunsuk has no idea why, but Jeongwoo and Jaehyuk love to invade his bedroom that he shares with Haruto. Not that he really minds most of the time, but he wonders if their dorm rooms even look lived in.

(His answer is a resounding yes when he walks in to wake them up one morning, seeing their clothes strewn about their floor.)

He’s holed up in his room as he usually is, wanting to get work done but not wanting to cross through the outside world to get to his beloved studio.

(Now that Hyunsuk thinks about it, he hasn’t really wanted to go outside since the show ended. It’s not something he likes to dwell on.)

Much to Hyunsuk’s surprise, no one has really tried intruding upon his room today. Even Haruto’s absence hangs in their air like an elephant in the room, or rather, the lack of one. It’s pleasant, having some peace and quiet for the first time since the end of the show that shan’t be named—just him and his trusty home setup for when he doesn’t go to the studio. The only people who have disrupted the silence have been Junkyu, who was checking up on him to make sure he had eaten something and wasn’t dead, and Junghwan, who shyly did the same.

(It's adorable. Hyunsuk is so glad they don’t have an evil maknae, or at the very least, not quite yet. For Hyunsuk’s sake and sanity, hopefully never.)

Hyunsuk checks the time at the bottom right corner of the screen. The white numbers display 7:30 pm. Hyunsuk chews on his lips and looks back at his laptop. He’s worked on it nonstop since the beginning of the day after breakfast, except for when he took bathroom and food breaks. His brain has the buzzing feeling of focus spread to the tips of his nerves from the stream of music on the pixelated screen that might as well be imprinted into his mind at this point. Although, he’s not really complaining. It’s a nice sensation of accomplishment and mind-numbing work that allows him escape from, well, everything.

The chair creaks as Hyunsuk leans back, breaking from his state of concentration. His eyes flicker to the ceiling as he groans and stretches, satisfying pops loosening his stiff joints. As he does, he finally registers the voices through the walls that have been in the background the whole time. He hears the rambunctious voices of Haruto and Jeongwoo and tunes in to what they’re saying as he picks himself up from his chair.

“...but we had chicken yesterday! Let’s get pizza!” Jeongwoo whines.

“We can have pizza next week! And it’s not the same! They added a new item to the menu that I wanted to try!” Haruto argues back.

Their voices somehow get exponentially louder as he closes in on them, and Jaehyuk’s voice and Junkyu’s hyena laugh finally get revealed under the infamous HaJeongwoo duo.

(Maybe “exponentially” is a bit of an exaggeration, but their voices have an uncanny ability for Hyunsuk’s ears to pick up, even when he doesn’t mean to. A little voice in his head scoffs at how ironic that is when he used to be like that. It reminds him of Byounggon, and how he always seemed to be able to pick up on his mood, his expressions, everything. Hyunsuk pointedly ignores the voice.)

“I’m in support of chicken! But only if we try another place! Haruto, you are seriously too obsessed with that one chicken place. Can’t you try venturing out a little?” Jaehyuk attempts reasoning.

“Fine, but chicken it is then!” Haruto announces triumphantly. Hyunsuk chuckles under his breath.

“Guys wait wait wait. You haven’t even listened to Junghwan’s opinion yet!” Junkyu yells over all of them. As Hyunsuk rounds the corner, he sees Junkyu gently prodding, “What do you want Junghwannie?”

Junghwan cuddles into Junkyu’s side as he thoughtfully says, “Uhmmmm...pizza!”

“Noooooo,” Haruto whines again. “Junkyu can’t you just choos- oh, Hyunsuk hyung!”

Everyone’s head snaps in his direction. Junkyu and Jaehyuk give him a sheepish smile before Junkyu says, “Hey hyung, nice of you to join us! Uhm, little help here?” Hyunsuk can’t help but laughs at the embarrassed expression and pleading eyes Junkyu is giving him.

(Well, he tries to ignore the little voice in the back of his head at least, but the scene is eerily familiar. Hyunsuk guesses this is what Jeonwoong and Midam must’ve felt when everyone was arguing over which restaurant they should go to after they had a successful group monthly evaluation.)

“Hyuuuung, can you tell Haruto that we’ve eaten chicken too many times?” Jeongwoo begs, defiantly standing up on his knees.

“Jeongwoo, don’t force him to choose anything,” Jaehyuk says patronizingly.

“Yeah!” Haruto intercepts. “Let hyung choose for himself!”

“Sorry hyung,” Junkyu laughs, a tinge of bashfulness still in his voice. Hyunsuk only lets out an amused snort before he looks over the room and tries to stretch his posture as tall and commandingly as he can. “Pizza. Final decision.”

“NOOOOO!”

“YEEEEESSSSS!”

Haruto’s and Jeongwoo’s voices clash with each other in cheer and mourning as Haruto cries out, “Hyung how could you betray me like this!!”

“See?! I knew he would agree with me!” Jeongwoo exclaims. As Haruto fires back something at Jeongwoo to continue their daily reverie--Junghwan’s high pitched laughter and Jaehyuk’s commentary adding fuel to the flame in the background--Hyunsuk sits next to Junkyu on the couch. “So why didn’t you choose?”

“Cause I wanted to treat them to something, so I let them choose.”

Hyunsuk snorts. “You? Treating them? Since when were you such a mom?”

“I’m not!” Junkyu whines. “Can’t I try to be a good hyung?”

Hyunsuk laughs at that. “By bribing them with food?”

“Yup.” Junkyu nods, very sure of himself. Hyunsuk can only shake his head in amusement.

“So is Yedam coming for dinner?” Hyunsuk asks.

Junkyu rests his cheek on his hand, humming in affirmation. “Said he’ll make it at around 9:00 PM if he can finish his homework on time.”

“Aigoo,” Hyunsuk says enduringly, “Our Yedammie works so hard.”

“Hyung!” Jaehyuk’s voice disrupts Hyunsuk and Junkyu’s conversation as the two look at him. “Hurry and order before Jeongwoo and Haruto kill each other!” He waves frantically at the two tumbling on the ground. Jaehyuk’s appearance is slightly disheveled, caused by what Hyunsuk guesses must’ve been an attempt at controlling them.

Junkyu’s eyes widen, realizing he forgot he was supposed to be the one ordering for everyone. “Oh right right. Sorry!” He scrambles for his phone, Hyunsuk watches Jeongwoo and Haruto look like they’re in a professional wrestling match with Junghwan trying to break them apart. Junghwan’s face is red from laughter. He goes unnoticed by Jeongwoo and Haruto, who are deathly glaring at one another with menacing smiles.

“Yah kids, what toppings do you want!” Junkyu yells again over everyone.

“Pineapple!” Haruto shouts.

“Do not get pineapple! That is a crime!” Jeongwoo shoots back.

“Then what do you want! We’re getting multiple pizzas anyway!” Junkyu shouts back.

“Pepperoni!” Jeongwoo grunts, getting flipped on his back by Haruto.

Suddenly, they wrap their hands around each other’s neck. An alarm goes off in Hyunsuk’s head realizing they might actually hurt each other in what's meant to be a playful match. He rushes over, first prying Junghwan off as he lands behind him with a thud. He then goes to wrap his arms around Haruto, who is currently pinning Jeongwoo down.

And then the brats have the audacity to roll over and almost crush Hyunsuk.

(Hyunsuk was neither asking for or expecting this disrespect when he first auditioned for YG years ago.)

Jeongwoo nearly gains the upper hand before Hyunsuk caws, “AH! WAIT STOP! DON’T ROLL ON TOP OF ME!” Jeongwoo and Haruto swiftly untangle from one another, rushing out apologies at the eldest. Hyunsuk takes a second to lie on his back on the floor and take a breather. He only releases a breath of exasperation before his expression eases into a smirk. He waves a dismissive hand as he says, “Don’t worry about it. Just make sure when you’re play fighting next time, don’t do something that could genuinely injure the other person, ya know? Don’t get so into it that you actually choke the other person out.”

Haruto and Jeongwoo both guiltily mutter, “Sorry hyung,” on their knees.

“Are you okay?” Jeongwoo asks.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine,” Hyunsuk replies in a single breath before sighing. “Just let me lie on the floor for a second.” Hyunsuk closes his eyes and relaxes. His ears perk up when he hears Junghwan and Jeongwoo frantically whisper, “Wait wait wait don’t bother him.”

To which Haruto replies, ”Okay okay. What do you wanna do then?”

Hyunsuk’s lips twitch, trying not to laugh at their shenanigans.

(How do they have so much energy? It makes him feel like an old man, and he’s only 19 damn it.)

“Hey Hyunsukie hyung,” comes Junkyu’s voice.

“Hey,” Hyunsuk mumbles, “Done ordering?” Opening his eyes, he’s met with Junkyu smiling down at him.

Junkyu nods. “Ah, Yedam also said he wouldn’t be able to make it. Had more homework than he realized.” Hyunsuk feels his gut turn uncomfortably.

(He doesn’t really remember what it feels like to not to always have these sensations of discomfort and being on edge. Nothing feels right nowadays, not that he really acknowledges it, though.)

The smile Junkyu has twists to one of empathy and faint tiredness. Even without saying anything, Hyunsuk could guess they’re both fatigued with a similar feeling, of something missing. Junkyu lies down next to Hyunsuk, disappearing from Hyunsuk’s immediate line of vision. From his peripheral view, Hyunsuk notices Junkyu is on his side, facing him.

(The action takes Hyunsuk reeling back. Far back. And yet it only feels like yesterday that him, Junkyu, and Byounggon fretted over their first public survival show. To his right laid Byounggon. To his left laid Junkyu.)

“Got a lot of work done today?” Junkyu comments softly. Hyunsuk hums, still staring absently at the ceiling. Blinking slowly, he turns his head to Junkyu, whose eyelids are shut. Hyunsuk admires the softened creases of Junkyu’s resting face.

(This feels domestic, too domestic. How did they get here? And how did it come to this so quickly? They’re questions that always make Hyunsuk’s head spin and leaves his chest feeling hollow, where to his right lay his empty heart. To his left lay Junkyu.)

Hyunsuk sighs, brain numb and blank from a day’s work—though it sometimes feels more like a lifetime. He allows himself to rest, even if it takes his thoughts away to areas he doesn’t necessarily want to venture into. The areas aren’t really new, dangerous, or exciting per se; none of them have the pronounced and thundering thoughts of debut anticipation he had fantasized as a trainee. Rather, he more often returns to anxieties filled with dull aches and fossilizing pains. They’re places of an old era, now only holding a disarray of overgrown memories clinging onto frayed and bygone hopes, weaving through the cracks of his conscious and subconscious like vines through cliff sides.

(In short, he’s exhausted.)

“Hyung!” Haruto calls, an interruption from his thoughts that Hyunsuk actually welcomes for once. Hyunsuk sighs deeply before hoisting himself into a sitting position. “Yo!” Hyunsuk yells back. Junkyu groans miserably beside him, making Hyunsuk roll his eyes endearingly.

“We’re playing UNO! Wanna join?” Junghwan grins.

“Sure!” Hyunsuk readies to stand up when he hears Junkyu mutter, “Nooooo...”

“We’re betting whoever loses does all the house chores for a week!” Jaehyuk says.

Hyunsuk perks up at the reward while Junkyu makes a less inclined noise of protest. Hyunsuk gives a shove to Junkyu’s shoulder, pushing the younger on his back and causing him to make a squeaking sound. He begrudgingly sits up and whines, “Whose even gonna enforce that anyway? You’re all younger than us!”

Hyunsuk smirks. “Me.”

“C’mon hyung! Think about it! Putting our pride on the line would make us do our chores more! Play like men, lose like men!” Jaehyuk persuades eagerly

“Yeah! C’mon hyung! Show us dongsaengs how it's done!” Haruto urgers.

Junkyu huffs. “Fine…” Hyunsuk, having watched the exchange humorously in silence, grabs Junkyu’s wrist and drags him over to the table as they wait for the pizza. With Junkyu in tow, Hyunsuk plops down next to Jaehyuk.

“Ready to lose?” Haruto taunts at Jeongwoo as he passes out the cards.

“Nope. Cause I already know I’m gonna beat your as-”

Hyunsuk looks at Jeongwoo. The latter deflates momentarily.

“-butt,” Jeongwoo finishes haughtily with a smug.

“Maknae on top!” Junghwan cheers.

“Maknae on bottom!” Jaehyuk fires back, rubbing the youngest’s head aggressively and tousling his hair.

“Hyung!” Junghwan pouts.

“Uhm guys, Hyunsuk hyung looks kind of scary,” Haruto points out. All eyes go onto Hyunsuk. He smiles dangerously at all of them. From his side, he hears Junkyu whisper “Oh boy,” under his breath before Junkyu hollers, “Game on! You’re all going down!”

The game starts relatively slowly, but it descends into chaos quickly. Alliances form and disintegrate. Petty insults get flung. Haruto gets down to two cards and gets ganged up on with a +4 card by Jeongwoo and a +2 card that Junghwan happily plays after Jaehyuk plays a reverse. He dramatically falls back against the floor yelling, “Why did it have to be meeeeeee!! I was so cloooooose!!!”

“Cause that’s what traitors deserve!” Junghwan retaliates with an amount of passion that Hyunsuk has never seen before. It would intimidate him if Junghwan wasn’t so naturally unthreatening, but at the moment, he has more important matters to attend to.

“UNO!” Hyunsuk calls.

“Wha-” Jaehyuk gapes.

“When did you get down to one card?!?!” Jeongwoo cries.

“Tell us what he has Junkyu hyung!” Haruto pleads. “I saw you glance at his hand earlier! Tell us!”

“Oh?” Hyunsuk quirks an eyebrow at Junkyu.

Junkyu looks at him alarmingly from being called out and laughs nervously. “That was at the beginning of the game! I don’t know what he has now!” Hyunsuk stares down Junkyu as the other gives a reassuring yet timid smile.

“No one breaks the hyung alliance!” Hyunsuk cheers, an easy smile on his face as he challenges every person with his eyes. He turns to see Junkyu shrink behind his cards, cautiously eyeing at Hyunsuk.

“But you betrayed Junkyu earlier!” Jaehyuk points out incredulously.

Hyunsuk crosses his arms, aiming a cocky expression at Jaehyuk. “Yeah. So?”

Jaehyuk shudders. “Damn, scary.”

Silence abruptly settles across the table as they all scrutinize Hyunsuk. He only calmly looks back at them, not making any indication of what color he might have. The turn gets to Jaehyuk, and he whispers fearfully, even though they’re all in the same room, “What do you think he has?”

They start making theories through his past plays. Hyunsuk glances at Junkyu, giving him the look. Junkyu only blinks owlishly at him, a satisfactory enough response to ensure that Junkyu doesn’t say anything that could jeopardize Hyunusk’s win.

“There’s no way he still has a green, right?” Jeongwoo starts.

“Right, but didn’t he draw more earlier from that +2? We don’t know what it could be,” Haruto adds.

“Jaehyuk hyung, what can you change it to?” Junghwan asks.

“I have a blue 3 and yellow 3 I can change it to,” Jaehyuk replies, still whispering loudly.

“Change it to blue! Change it to blue!” Haruto gestures wildly.

“No! Change it to yellow! We haven’t played that color in a while!” Jeongwoo argues.

“Yeah, and that’s exactly why we should play blue!”

“I think we should change it to blue,” Junghwan cuts in.

“Majority rules! See? Junghwan is smart like me.” Haruto points to himself with his thumb, leaning over the table. Jeongwoo rolls his eyes. “That’s only because you’re good at tricking people. There’s no way you’re smart.”

“Hey!” Haruto responds, wounded.

“Ok ok guys blue 3 it is! Now hush and stop fighting!” Jaehyuk carefully puts down the blue 3 as the turn moves onto Hyunsuk. They wait in bated breath

Hyunsuk smirks.

He puts down a +4 card.

Their mouths drop as groans chorus around the room.

“HYUNG, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Junkyu fumes, scaring the shit out of Hyunsuk.

Oh right, Junkyu’s turn was next. Hyunsuk rubs his neck with an apologetic grin.

“I SHOULD’VE NEVER TRUSTED YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?”

Everyone bursts into laughter at his misery as Jaehyuk taunts, “You should’ve told us what he had then!”

Junkyu waves his hands in a grandeur show of his bitterness. “I genuinely didn’t know he had that, though!” Junkyu fakes a sob, pouting petulantly. “AUUUGHHH! I swear if I have to do all the chores for a week...”

Junkyu sulks through the next round, growing increasingly restless and loud as the game continues. Hyunsuk leans against Junkyu. Junkyu looks down at him, exchanging another quiet moment of smiles between them. The next person who wins is Junghwan, who is neck and neck with Jeongwoo. A conversation begins about video games, interrupted by Jeongwoo placing down his last card. Junghwan and Jeongwoo and high five as Haruto, Junkyu, and Jaehyuk incredulously complain about how they managed to conspire against everyone with Haruto sitting between them.

“We made a secret language on the spot!” Junghwan explains proudly.

Jeongwoo leans back on his hand as he proudly adds, “Yup, it’s like we had a connection that none of you can understand.”

Haruto lets out a revolted gasp. “I thought that was only between us! How could you?!”

Hyunsuk laughs.

(It kind of reminds him of a game of monopoly that he once played with Noa, Yedam, Raesung, Junkyu, and Byounggon. He still can’t help but grin remembering the look of betrayal on Byounggon’s face when he realized what happened. Hyunsuk had secretly colluded with Raesung against Byounggon after the eldest of the group had gone to the restroom, swindling Byounggon with a trade deal that screwed him over for the rest of the game.)

Jeongwoo sticks out his tongue. “It’s what you get for betraying the maknae earlier.”

Haruto folds his cards down on the table in offense. “That was at the beginning of the game! Does everyone hold a vendetta against me for that?”

Jaehyuk nods matter-of-factly. “Uh huh.”

Haruto’s gaped mouth widens.

“You- you all- you know what? Fine. Ha Jeongwoo is over-”

“Hey!” Jeongwoo interrupts.

“-nope! No more alliances with any of you because clearly, I can’t trust any of you!”

Junkyu snickers. “Awwww little Haruto is maaaad~”

“Be quiet hyung,” Haruto grumbles as he places down his next card.

“Junkyu hyung?” Jaehyuk’s voice lilts, pointing a sly smile at Junkyu.

“Mhm?” Junkyu replies, matching the other with the same expression. They nod at each other as Haruto sputters.

Hyunsuk slowly starts losing attention over the game, growing bored of Jaehyuk and Junkyu teaming up against Haruto. Not knowing what else to do, Hyunsuk gets out his phone. His thumb goes to open NAVER.

(Don’t.)

Hyunsuk pauses. He hovers over the icon--just, frozen.

(Don’t do it.)

“YES!”

Hyunsuk jumps at the sudden loss of his headrest and the loud voice of the headrest’s owner in his ear. Hyunsuk blinks at Junkyu. “You won?”

“YES!”

Hyunsuk snorts, watching Junkyu do a weird, little celebratory dance. Hyunsuk turns towards Jaehyuk. “Hey, beat the rascal for me so he can finally clean up after himself?”

Jaehyuk beams at Hyunsuk. “Already planned on it!”

Haruto just sighs in defeat, muttering something about how much he’s being mistreated by his hyungs. The rounds continue to pass before the doorbell suddenly rings.

“I’ll get it!” Hyunsuk gets up as a jumble of “Thanks hyung!” chorus behind him. Hyunsuk’s lips pull into a smile, proud that the mannerisms he’s been trying to instill in them have stuck, even while they are focusing on the ruiner of friendships that UNO is. When he opens the door, he’s met with the soggy appearance of the pizza delivery man.

“Pizza delivery for Kim Junkyu?” the pizza man prompts, still giving a professional smile despite the fact that his appearance makes him look a little more than miserable.

Ah right, Junkyu was the one that ordered. As if on cue, he hears padded footsteps come rushing towards him. Junkyu whizzes to Hyunsuk, hopping next to him. “That’s me!”

Junkyu goes to sign the receipt as Hyunsuk is handed the pizza boxes.

“Do you need an umbrella?”

“Hm?” The pizza man asks in surprise.

“Ah, it looks like it’s coming down kind of hard. Would you like an umbrella?” Hyunsuk repeats.

The pizza delivery man laughs, shaking his head. “No no I’m good, but thank you for offering.”

Hyunsuk hums and nods in return as Junkyu gives the receipt back to the man.

“Thank you!” both him and Junkyu say simultaneously. Junkyu then turns to Hyunsuk curiously. “Why’d you offer him an umbrella?”

Hyunsuk blinks at him. “Cause he looked kinda cold from the rain?”

Junkyu just shrugs and takes two of the four boxes of pizza that Hyunsuk is holding before going back. “YAH! PIZZA IS HERE.” As Junkyu and Hyunsuk enter into the living room again, Junghwan announces, “I’ll get the plates and napkins!” before rushing to the kitchen. Jaehyuk and Jeongwoo stand to take a box each to open on the table. As all the pizzas get laid out, Hyunsuk spots Haruto’s hand reaching for one. Hyunsuk shoots his arm out to block him. “-AH. Wait for the plates Haruto.” Haruto pouts, turning back to Jaehyuk who put down another +2.

“Wha- how are you all so lucky?!”

Jaehyuk snickers at Haruto’s outburst for the millionth time this evening. “You better be paying attention if you don’t want to lose.” Haruto huffs as Jeongwoo calls out, “Yah Junghwannie! Can you hurry up?”

Hyunsuk listens to cabinets opening and closing and scuffling around the kitchen before Junghwan shouts back, “I’m trying but I can't find the plates.” Hyunsuk meets eyes with Junkyu, who sighs.

“Didn’t you say you put them in the cabinet above the utensils?” Junkyu asks.

“Yeah. I’ll go help him.” Junkyu nods as Hyunsuk heads towards the kitchen but halts in his steps. Hyunsuk looks over his shoulder, eyeing Jeongwoo and Haruto.

“Jaehyuk!”

“Yes!”

“Help Junkyu make sure no one steals the pizza!” Hyunsuk continues towards Junghwan, where he’s met with half the kitchen’s cabinets open.

“Uhm, Junghwan wha-“

Junghwan jumps, whipping his head around before smiling embarrassingly. “Those are just all the ones I looked through already.” Hyunsuk laughs, a warm feeling of fondness welling up inside him at the youngest’s endearing behavior. With a slight shake of his head, Hyunsuk directs Junghwan towards a cabinet opposite of the wall of open cabinet doors.

“Ehhh, weren’t they higher?” Junghwan asks innocently as he bends down to grab the paper plates. Hyunsuk lets out a strained, “Mhm.”

Junghwan looks at Hyunsuk, whose hands are on his hips and is staring squarely at the younger. Suddenly, Junghwan’s eyes enlarge comically. “A-ah! I mean-”

Hyunsuk messes Junghwan’s hair up as he waltzes pass, ego only marginally bruised. With Junghwan following him, he arrives back to everyone gathered around Jaehyuk and Haruto intensely observing the match. Hyunsuk clears his throat, diverting the attention of the gaggle of focused eyes from UNO. Junghwan pipes up from behind him. “Plates are here! Pizza everyone?”

Haruto immediately perks up. “Oh yeah yeah, definite-”

“Haruto, not until we finish this game,” Jaehyuk intercepts, hand raised at Haruto.

“But hyuuuuung!”

“No ‘but hyungs’! We’re finishing this right here! Right now! I can see you’re trying to escape the situation Haru-ah,” Jaehyuk says, eyeing the cards that Haruto currently has face down on the table. Hyunsuk can tell it’s taking every fiber in Haruto’s being not to cuss, a very amusing spectacle, as sadistic as that may sound. Jeongwoo rests his head on Haruto’s shoulder and pokes his cheek. At the same time, Junkyu moves to the side, before motioning Hyunsuk over. Hyunsuk takes his spot back to Junkyu’s side as the game winds down to a close. Jeongwoo and Junghwan have drifted over to Haruto’s side while him and Junkyu peak over Jaehyuk’s shoulders. Haruto places down a wild card and looks straight into Jaehyuk’s brown eyes.

“Got a red?” Haruto smirks.

“Go fish,” Jaehyuk teases.

Junghwan giggles before Haruto elbows him in his ribs. “Ow,” Junghwan mutters quietly, rubbing his chest where he was jabbed.

“Are you lying?” Jeongwoo asks.

“I don’t know is he?” Junkyu counters.

“Hyung you’re one to talk.” Jeongwoo sticks his tongue out.

Junkyu scowls, swatting towards Jeongwoo as Jeongwoo leans back cackling. “That was the middle of the game!” Junkyu huffs. “And for your information, I wasn’t cheating!”

“Hyuuuuung,” Junghwan pouts, puffing his lips at Jaehyuk. “I’m hungry. Can’t you just tell us what you have so we can go eat.”

“Nothing is stopping you from eating Junghwannie. We know you’re a growing maknae,” Hyunsuk coos.

“And while you’re at it, could you kindly get us pizza too, maknae?” Jaehyuk adds sweetly.

Junghwan lays his head down on the table. “Hyung! You guys are all so mean.”

At this, Haruto throws his hands. “See?! That’s what I’ve been trying to say the whole game!”

“And look! Now you’ve gone and hurt Junghwan’s feelings. Are you happy now?” Jeongwoo says, pointing at Junghwan, as Haruto supports him with a, “Yeah!”

“Haruto, the only person whose feelings are gonna be hurt after this is you. Now hurry up and pick a color!” Jaehyuk gestures at the wild card that has yet to be addressed. The maknae line shuffles away from the table and lean their head into each other, sharply whispering to one another.

Jaehyuk leans back, letting out an exhale. “Any ideas of what Haruto might have?” Jaehyuk asks offhandedly. Hyunsuk looks at Junkyu. They both shrug before the maknae line slides back as quickly as they went. “Blue,” Haruto declares definitively.

“Do you think you that’s right?” Jaehyuk prods.

At this point, Jaehyuk has two cards and Haruto has three. Hyunsuk sees Haruto tense and attempt to confidently say, “Yeah, I think I’m right.”

Jaehyuk’s smirk widens. “Uno.”

Haruto sighs an, “Oh my god.” He rests his head on the table as Jeongwoo and Junghwan try to comfort him.

“There’s no way he could still have another green though, right?” Jeongwoo says, attempting to assuage Haruto, but the only thing that Haruto replies with is, “That sounds like something you said earlier.”

Jeongwoo punches Haruto’s shoulder. “What are the chances that Jaehyuk’s last card would also be a wild card or plus 4, though?”

Haruto glares at the other. He just responds with a resigned, “At this point, he probably does.” Haruto places down a green 4. Jaehyuk slams down a green 7 yelling, “We won!” Hyunsuk jumps up on the couch with Junkyu and Jaehyuk, high fiving and whooping.

“Well that was anticlimactic,” Hyunsuk hears Junghwan comment.

“Haruto is doing chores for a week!” Hyunsuk shouts in jubilation. “Finally, he won’t leave chicken in my room!”

“And forget to throw things away when he’s done with them!” Junkyu adds as Jaehyuk woos. Haruto lays despondent on the floor with Jeongwoo making fun of him and Junghwan patting his head. Haruto then rolls over onto his stomach and begins crawling to the pizza. “Time to eat my sorrows away…”

They all migrate to the pizza and decide on a movie to watch. Hyunsuk settles in between Junkyu and Junghwan. The movie starts with minimal difficulty.

(And by minimal, that generally means at least one person kicking someone else, two people accidentally grabbing for the same slice of pizza and fighting over it, and at least one person complaining about someone who kicked them.)

It turns out. The movie is really boring. At some point, Jeongwoo started bothering Jaehyuk, and Haruto fell asleep. As Junkyu wakes up a bleary Haruto, they all agree that the movie isn’t worth finishing.

(It’s times like these where Haruto can be kind of cute, and Hyunsuk can see why Yoshinori mothers Haruto so much. He feels his heart squeeze, mainly at Haruto being cute. Definitely not because he can feel another wave of painful nostalgia creeping in the corners of his chest).

“So, Haruto,” Hyunsuk begins.

(It’s not like this is the first time he’s ever watched a movie that no one ended up liking and everyone just left to do their own things: Midam and Woong conversing quietly amongst themselves, Junkyu fending off Jihoon from bothering Noa as Noa scrolls through his phone, Yedam and Raesung babying and playing with Doyoung who's sitting in the middle of the two, him spread across Byounggon and Seunghun’s lap, close to falling asleep as Byounggon strokes his forehead while talking to Seunghun. It just...isn’t the same. Of course, it isn’t. He just...needs to deal with it. And more importantly, he has a dongsaeng to exploit.)

“Hmmm?” Haruto replies, still not quite awake.

“I have your first chore. Can you clean this all up for us?” Hyunsuk sweeps his arm over the pizza boxes, plates, and drinks, watching in delight at Haruto deadpanning at him. He watches Haruto’s eyes flicker between him and the mess in the living room before he hangs his and obediently says, “Yes, hyung…” under his breath.

Hyunsuk stands intimidatingly, enjoying his feeling of reign over the younger. “Welp, imma head back to my room now. Night guys.”

As everyone wishes him goodnight back, Hyunsuk turns around to his bedroom again, thoughts of his works and how he should progress filling his mind again.

“HYUNG!”

“AH!” Hyunsuk jumps as he hears Jeongwoo’s voice and a pair of hands slapping his shoulder blades. With his thoughts broken, he whirls around to see Jeongwoo and Jaehyuk. After taking a second to breathe, Hyunsuk says, “Jesus, what was that for?”

“Nothing,” Jaehyuk sings. “Just wanted to surprise you, and we were going to your room anyway so why not?”

Hyunsuk raises an eyebrow at the flimsy reasoning but doesn’t think much past it. “Okay then...why do you need to come to my room, though?”

“We’re planning on surprising Haruto with something!” Jeongwoo replies cheerfully. Maybe a bit too cheerfully. Hyunsuk’s tempted to reject but before he can say anything Jaehyuk explains, “We just wanted to torment him a bit more tonight. It was mostly Jeongwoo’s idea, but it’s too hilarious to pass up.”

That doesn’t reassure Hyunsuk of anything, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued. “...okay? What are you guys planning?”

“Let’s go to your room! I’ll explain more when we get there.” Jeongwoo rushes off without Jaehyuk and Hyunsuk, leaving Hyunsuk to let out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t worry. It probably won’t destroy your room,” Jaehyuk voices. Hyunsuk blinks. “Probably?”

Jaehyuk chuckles nervously. “Yeeeeaaaah. Just trust us.”

Hyunsuk still isn’t really reassured, but if there’s anyone among the rest of the group he can put his faith in aside from Junkyu, it’s Jaehyuk. What’s the worst that can go wrong anyway?

(Many things. Many.)

As Hyunsuk enters his room with Jaehyuk, Jeongwoo is there pulling up Haruto’s blankets and bed sheet. Honestly, Hyunsuk has no idea what he’s looking at, and when Jaehyuk passes him to help Jeongwoo, it only further confuses him. Jaehyuk then helps cover Jeongwoo’s figure with a blanket. Hyunsuk carefully trails around his desk as he watches intently. “Uhm, guys?”

“We’re trying to give Haruto a scare. Horror movie style!” Jeongwoo fists the air through the blanket.

Jaehyuk gives Hyunsuk a thumbs up. “The plan is, I’ll be hiding under the bed, and Jeongwoo will be hiding in the corner where Haruto won’t see him when he walks in. One of the blankets will be hanging over the edge a bit, which will help give me some cover.”

“Then, when Haruto walks over to the bed. BAM! Jaehyuk grabs Haruto by the ankle, and then I’ll jump from the corner and go BOO like a ghost. And then we’ll tackle him to the bed. It’s gonna be hilarious, cause he always pretends he isn’t scared of ghosts but he gets nervous just talking about supernatural stuff. And don’t worry hyung! We’ll put everything back the way it was once we’re done with it!” Jeongwoo explains. That isn’t really Hyunsuk’s main concern but before he can press, Jaehyuk says, “Don’t pay attention to us, like we’re not even here.”

Hyunsuk sighs. “Alright. Don’t make too much of a mess.” All he really wants do is finish the track he’s been working on all day and get ahead on the next one. Jaehyuk hums as Hyunsuk seats himself, shifting himself around to get comfortable in his chair. With his headphones in, he lets himself drown in focus, save for the few glances he spares to see the process of Jeongwoo and Jaehyuk’s plan. By the time they’re done and eerily silent, Jeongwoo is crumpled under two layers of bed sheets on the side of the door that gets blocked when it’s opened. A lone blanket on the bed drapes messily to the floor.

“Hey hyung.”

Hyunsuk whirls around to see Junkyu standing in his doorway.

“What are you doing here?” Hyunsuk asks, at a loss for whatever is transpiring in his room.

Junkyu points in the general direction of Jaehyuk and Jeongwoo, answering, “Giving those two their cue. He’s coming by the way!”

A thumb sticks out from under the bed. “Got it hyung!” comes Jaehyuk’s voice. Jeongwoo is oddly silent and still in the corner. Hyunsuk snorts as Junkyu turns back to him. “Welp, I’m out. Night hyung!”

Turning back to his work, there’s a moment of calm. The sound of the music picks up its stream through his head again as he brushes up on a few quirks and ticks he can’t seem to quite fix. He barely notices Haruto passing by.

“AHHHHHH!” Well, until he hears him scream.

Hyunsuk jumps. A flash of a hand under the bed snatches Haruto’s ankle in his grasps and a figure cloaked with a blanket tackles Haruto with a mattress cover onto the bed, all happening in the span of a few seconds. He idly observes in concern, internally debating whether he needs to intervene again in their antics.

“AGH! GAH! JEONGWOO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” Haruto screams, muffled by the blanket.

Hyunsuk leans an elbow on his desk when Jeongwoo enthusiastically shouts, “OOOOOH I’M A GHOOOOOST!”

There’s not much he can really think of doing in response to the ensuing tortured yelling of Haruto and the maniacal ones of Jeongwoo and Jaehyuk. Hyunsuk lets out a sigh of faint amusement, intending to go back to working. That is, until he hears both Jeongwoo and Haruto yell from Jaehyuk leaping on top of the both of them, crushing the two in a bear hug. He gives it a moment, seeing if there’s any resistance. It goes quiet. Haruto stops moving. Jeongwoo pokes him. “You dead?”

Hyunsuk shrugs.

(Maybe they’re finally tired out.)

The body on the bottom of the Jeongwoo sandwich begins thrashing again in loud protest for Jaehyuk and Jeongwoo to get off of him and let him breathe. Hyunsuk rubs two fingers against his temple.

(Oh how wrong he usually is.)

“Hey, guys-” Hyunsuk starts.

“Haruuuuuuu,” Jaehyuk coos. “Our baby Haruuuuuu.”

“Guys please-”

Haruto gives a shove. “Can you all get off of me?! I can barely breathe!”

“Guys-”

Jaehyuk pats Haruto’s head through the blanket. “All you have to do is suffer a little longer.”

“For fucks sak-”

“But why?! Isn’t the week of chores enough?! And Jeongwoo can you stop trying to tickle me!”

“Hehehe. Only if you can push me off- AGH!” Jeongwoo topples over and falls off the bed with a loud thud.

“GUYS!”

Jaehyuk and Jeongwoo freeze as they look at Hyunsuk. Haruto’s head pops out from under the blanket breathlessly, hair messy and wild. Hyunsuk leans forward in his chair. “Look I don’t mind you guys staying in here but could all of you be a little quieter?”

They all nod guiltily as Jaehyuk speaks up. “We won’t bother you!”

Hyunsuk exhales tiredly. “Good. Thank you.” He shoves his headphones back on, not caring about whatever they do next, or trying to at least.

Every so often, Hyunsuk catches himself drifting again.

(It’s not because of the build-up of stress and anxiety over the past few months--is what he tries to convince himself. Also, are they trying to do a yoga pose?)

Hyunsuk rests his forehead on the table, hands wrapped around the back of his head. With his head still down, he mumbles, “Hey…”

“Hyung?” Jaehyuk’s voices softly.

(Thank god for Jaehyuk. Thank god for all the quieter members in Treasure 13.)

“I know… I know I said earlier that I don’t mind you guys staying here, but how long do you guys plan on staying up tonight?”

The sound of scuffling and the trio bickering hits Hyunsuk’s ears. He lifts his head up. He must look visibly exhausted, judging by the way the three seem to look at him. “If you all are going to stay up really late, can you guys just go ahead and go out to the living room. I’m probably gonna finish up soon.” Compliantly, Jeongwoo grabs Haruto’s arm and leads him out, Jaehyuk behind the two. As he finally manages to kick the three out, Hyunsuk flops onto his bed and closes his eyes.

“Hyunsuk hyung?” Jaehyuk abruptly says.

“Hm?”

“Sorry. Sleep well, hyung.” And then Jaehyuk leaves as well, closing the door behind him with a satisfying click.

Hyunsuk is left with the sound of rain drumming gently on the world outside as he lays in his bed. A brief thought emerges that maybe he should at least go brush his teeth in case he accidentally falls asleep, but it quickly dissipates as he dreams of himself, Junkyu, and Byounggon in Jaehyuk, Haruto, and Jeongwoo’s positions, messing around in his room, carefree.

 

 

 

Hyunsuk groans.

“Hyung…” a gentle voice coaxes him. “Hey hyung…”

“Mmmm?” Hyunsuk rolls over, wrenching his eyelids open. “What…?”

He’s met with the face of Yedam shrouded by darkness above him. “Oh, Yedam...I thought?” He trails off as his eyes rest on Yedam’s small lip smile.

“That I wouldn’t come? Yeah, neither did I, but I managed to finish early enough.”

Hyunsuk pushes himself up. Yedam is still staring at him. Hyunsuk pats the spot next to him. The younger sits.

(If there’s one thing that has always been a constant throughout the years, it’s Yedam. Him and Junkyu. Not that Jihoon and Doyoung aren’t comforting. God no. He loves them, but usually thinking about them when they’re not there reminds him that...they’re not truly in the same group. Truly debuting together. Together. Among the many things that have been giving him anxiety, the word “together” is one of them.)

“What time is it?” Hyunsuk grumbles, resting his face in the palm of his hand. He looks up, noticing Haruto fast asleep and that it seems like it hasn’t stopped raining.

“3:51 am.”

“Jesus Yedam. Why’d you wake me up?” Hyunsuk asks.

Yedam slips his arm through Hyunsuk’s and latches onto him. “I actually wasn’t going to originally. Just wanted to come and see you, but I noticed that your computer was still on, though, and turned it off for you. Did you wash up before you sleep?”

Hyunsuk pauses, realizing, in fact, “No, I didn’t.” Yedam stands up from bed, allowing Hyunsuk to shuffle himself out of his blankets.

“Welp, thanks for waking me then. I’m sure the Hyunsuk who wakes up in the morning will appreciate it, Yedam-ah.” Hyunsuk attempts a grateful expression at Yedam through his sleepiness. Yedam beams at him.

“Well, goodnight then, hyung!” Yedam whispers happily. “And please take care of yourself.”

“Will do.” Hyunsuk gestures dismissively. He almost misses it, but he stills seeing a disquieted expression making its way onto Yedam’s face. Hyunsuk’s feels his cheeks pull at the corner of his mouth. What world did he save in his past life to get a dongsaeng as perceptive, loving, and puppy-like as Yedam? “Go to sleep Yedam. I’m gonna go to bed. Can’t make music or practice if I’m about to fall asleep.”

The look doesn’t disappear from Yedam’s face, though it does ease. “Okay, hyung. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Hyunsuk turns around, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Unbeknownst to him, Yedam sees the small action. Behind him, Yedam’s face falls watching Hyunsuk disappear into the restroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit outdated with all that happened, but I didn't want to abandon this idea. So here it is! Gonna be honest, in terms of my usual writing, it's kinda garbage, but I hope someone enjoys it nonetheless. I swear there is some sense of a story line to this, but I apologize if the pacing comes out awkward. And because I write like a snail, this'll probably take a while to finish considering I still have more exams and end of the year projects. Either way, thanks for reading! Always love to hear criticism!
> 
> Edit: I swear, every time I come back to things I’ve posted I always find something I forgot or need to fix. Anyway, I’m so sorry @alternativekpop for not thanking you as my beta reader! I think you guys already know her since she posts on the YGTB tag so much but her writing is fantastic. Def go check her out if you haven’t already :))
> 
> I'm a pretty introverted person, but if you wanna try talking to me anyway, you can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram  
> Twitter: @UJinblossoms  
> Tumblr: @frenchblue32  
> Instagram: @suncovered.snow


	2. Chapter 2

“AND IIIIIIIIII, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOUUUUUU!” Jeongwoo belts. Junkyu dissolves into laughter.

“Yes Jeongwoo! Now just imagine you’re on the Titanic singing to the sunset with this song instead of My Heart Will Go On.”

Junkyu is very aware that his vocal trainers would kill him if they walked in to think that him and Jeongwoo were just messing around instead of actually practicing. In his humble opinion, his method of teaching is great, albeit a little unconventional. It’s times like these where Junkyu thinks he might miss these little moments of his trainee days. Of practicing from sun up until sun down, messing around and cracking jokes to get through the day. Of imagining what their debut showcase will look like and what they’ll do during their first fansign. Doing karaoke in a studio room with Yedam and Noa when they should be practicing. Bouncing song ideas off Raesung, Yedam, Noa, and Byounggon. Doing random dance plays with everyone on their break. 

(Indulging in their daydreams. Forgetting reality.)

“Junkyu hyung?”

Junkyu flinches as Jeongwoo stares at him. The younger’s eyebrows are furrowed. “Hyung are you okay?”

Junkyu waves his hand as if brushing his thoughts away. “Yeah yeah I’m fine. Sorry, I blanked out for a second. Can you do that again?”

Jeongwoo’s concerned expression doesn’t leave him, and while Junkyu appreciates the fact that he’s worried for him, he doesn’t want him to. “Yah, the song won’t finish by itself. Now stop worrying about me and sing my child.” Jeongwoo’s face wrinkles at being called child.

“Don’t call me that!” Jeongwoo whines. 

Junkyu cackles. “Then prove to me you’re not one.”

A fresh wave of determination washes over Jeongwoo’s face. As he opens his mouth again, Junkyu fights to keep his attention at bay.

(It proves to be rather difficult. Then again, when has anything related to being a trainee ever been easy, period? He feels like he should be more excited preparing for his debut, and he really is. He’s just been really tired since the end of YG Treasure Box.)

Thankfully, he doesn’t have to do it for long. If there’s any specific thing that Junkyu prides himself in terms of his teaching methods, it’s that he tries to be fun, because time passes by faster when you’re having fun

(A wise elementary school teacher once told him.)

Junkyu checks his phone, seeing a text notification from Jaehyuk. When Junkyu opens it, it’s a message notifying him that Jaehyuk and Haruto had gone back to the dorms early.

“Hyung, hurry up!” Jeongwoo shouts from down the hall.

“I’m coming I’m coming!”

He and Jeongwoo step out into the open city air, feet scraping along the pavement. Usually, him and Jeongwoo can get into some pretty animated conversations, but today, the both of them have their headphones in. Junkyu walks, mind drifting elsewhere. Suddenly, he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. Junkyu looks down at Jeongwoo, whose staring up at him with a smile that looks like he’s both trying not laugh and also trying not to expressly worry himself to death.

“Hyung, you were about to run into that pole.” Jeongwoo points at the street light in his face.

“Ah,” Junkyu says embarrassedly. “Thanks.” 

Jeongwoo hums, before they continue on their walk back to the dorm. Junkyu looks down at the younger, observing his features. That’s when he notices the distant look on Jeongwoo’s face, one that burns something inside of Junkyu. 

Junkyu’s nose flinches, feeling a small drop of rain land on him. He looks up at the cloudy sky covering the late evening in gloom. Every street lamp they pass by has at least one nightly bug dancing around the artificial lights. “Aish, hope it doesn’t rain while we’re walking,” Junkyu notes to himself. He arches his head back down at Jeongwoo and ruffles his hair. “Why the long face?”

Jeongwoo jumps, looking at Junkyu before turning his gaze back towards the road. A small grin plays at Jeongwoo’s lips, one that Junkyu can’t truly decipher what it all encompasses.

(Honestly, he can’t even describe his own feelings most of the time. Then again, he also just ignores them most of the time.)

The younger fiddles with his sleeve. “I don’t know why. I just...feel weird about debut after the end of YG Treasure Box. Is that ungrateful? I swear, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful. Actually, neverm-”

Junkyu rests a hand on Jeongwoo’s shoulder. “Nah, it’s okay. I think I understand.”

There’s a thoughtful pause that rests between them, before Junkyu finds himself asking, “Is it because you miss them?”

Jeongwoo looks up at Junkyu in surprise. “Everyone in Treasure C?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, that’s a part of it.”

Junkyu makes a sound of understanding. He doesn’t press further, preferring to wrap his arm around Jeongwoo’s shoulder and squish him into Junkyu’s side. Jeongwoo squawks but doesn’t try to push him away. The dorms appear in Junkyu’s sight with an unreasonable amount of relief flooding him. When they reach the door, Jeongwoo rushes to kick his shoes off, running to the living room where Junkyu hears him asking where Haruto and Jaehyuk are. Junkyu checks his phone again before looking outside. It’s dark and dreary. He can see small dots of water droplets on the glass of the light outside. It’s only drizzling, but Junkyu hopes Yedam can make it to the dorm before the weather outside can start picking up. The younger said he would be there soon after all.

With not much else to do, Junkyu steps towards the living room, where there’s just Jeongwoo and Junghwan in front of the TV. Junkyu cocks his head. “Eh? Where is everyone?”

“Haruto and Jaehyukie hyung are in MAGNUM dorms, so it’s just us and Hyunsuk hyung, as well,” Junghwan answers. The past grabs his throat. He feels like the air suddenly gets heavier and more suffocating.

(It dawns on him that there’s a very clear reason why the two are in front of him in the living room and why Haruto and Jaehyuk aren’t. No one from Treasure C are in the MAGNUM dorms, but Haruto and Jaehyuk have what’s left of Treasure J and Treasure B there. He doesn’t say anything about it of course.)

Jeongwoo grunts as Junghwan drops his head into Jeongwoo’s lap. However, he seems unbothered by the youngest using him as a pillow as he keeps mashing buttons on his controller. “Yep.” Jeongwoo curses under his breath as Junghwan lands a good hit on him. “Wanna join us?” They’re playing Super Smash Bros, and it looks like their skill levels are relatively the same. Shrugging, Junkyu says, “Okay, I’ll go for a round.” Sitting himself down, Junkyu waits for the match to finish as Jeongwoo and Junghwan intensely battle it out. When the round ends, Junkyu picks up and connects a controller as they argue over Peach, Daisy, and Zelda.

(In Junkyu’s humble opinion, Daisy will always be superior.)

After two rounds, Junkyu resigns to just spectating, against Jeongwoo and Junghwan’s protests. “I have to watch for Yedam. When he comes, I’ll join you guys again.” Junkyu nudges the both of them on their temples, causing them to release a series of giggles.

Jeongwoo’s nose scrunches up. “Okayyy.” They turn back, beginning another round.

He almost misses it, but somewhere in the midst of a sudden death match, the door clicks open. A pair of “Yedam is home!” and “Welcome back Yedammie hyung!” arises from the living room before Junghwan and Jeongwoo quickly go back to what they were doing. Junkyu ambles towards the younger and helps take his coat off. Yedam looks up at him, momentarily surprised, before giving the elder a small smile.

“Studying hard I see?” Junkyu asks in a teasing tone.

“Yup,” Yedam replies with his thin-lipped smile.

“And what has brought you back to finally grace the dorm?”

Yedam lets out a breathy snort at Junkyu’s dramatism before saying, “I should probably get used to sleeping at the dorm at some point. I can’t keep hiding at home to study forever. We’ll have to come up with a dorm schedule soon, you know?”

Junkyu hums in agreement. “Well, it’s quieter for once. Take advantage of it and hurry to sleep. I made your bed, too!” Junkyu beams at Yedam with pride at his tiny accomplishment, which leaves Yedam releasing a short burst of laughter. “Thanks hyung!”

Yedam takes his coat and brushes past Junkyu.

And then Junkyu stands there. He stares at the front entrance, gaze angled down at the floor where their shoes are cluttered.

“I should organize that,” Junkyu thinks, but then he pauses. He muses how strange this sight must be. Junkyu? Thinking about cleaning? And organizing other people’s messes? Blasphemy.

(Stop.)

The sound of conversation and Super Smash Bros in the living room floats to Junkyu from behind him, but what he detects the loudest is a quiet that he’s noticed sometimes hanging around around the dorm lately. If he closes his eyes, he can almost hear the voices of Seunghun, Hyunsuk, Jeonwoong, and Doyoung. He can still hear himself laughing with them. He can still pretend Raesung and Byounggon are out at a studio and will return soon. He can still pretend that Midam and Noa have just left to go practice.

(Stop. Stop thinking about it. Go back.)

But if he lingers, those comforting memories begin moving forward down the timeline. His mind slowly becomes aware of the facade, so Junkyu shakes them off before they can stray. He turns around. As he passes the living room again, he intends to join Junghwan and Jeongwoo on the couch, but his brain makes him still, having not completely recovered from his recent episode of phasing out. His mind tries to recreate a mirage of Team A or Boy A Squad or Silverboys on that couch. Heck, if he tries hard enough, Junkyu thinks maybe he could even see his embarrassing days of WhiteShoesBoyz.

(Wait, shit no. Don’t go back like that. Come back. Back to the present.)

“Junkyu hyung!” Junghwan calls, his soft voice yanking Junkyu back to the present. “Are you going to join us?” Junghwan and Jeongwoo haven’t moved from their positions since Junkyu last saw them.

(It kind of startles Junkyu that he doesn’t actually remember walking the short distance back to the living room. Maybe he’s just more tired than usual today)

The round ends, and the two look expectantly at Junkyu. Jeongwoo wears the same expression Junkyu saw earlier at the studio.

“Hyung?” Jeongwoo asks.

Junkyu gives a shake of his head. “I’m good. I’m actually going to head to sleep early today.”

Junghwan pouts cutely. “Okay. Goodnight, hyung!” Jeongwoo echoes Junghwan, giving Junkyu a wave. 

Wishing goodnight back, Junkyu roams down the hall. Then, he slows and leans against the wall, captured by his thoughts again.

(Junkyu remembers how they’d scrolled through Instagram and Twitter, laughing at their fans making fun of the concept of him and Hyunsuk being parents. They’d joke along with the fan posts about just how unfitting him and Hyunsuk would be as parents, even if it was mainly to cope with what was to come. But before they knew it, the moments came and went at whiplashing speeds. Junkyu knows it technically wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like ages have passed since they were altogether, knowing nothing but each other and the background noise of uncertainty that seemed so far away.)

Sighing, Junkyu resumes traversing back to his room, passing by Hyunsuk’s room where he can see faint blue light under the door.

“He’s still working,” Junkyu absentmindedly thinks with fondness. He knocks on the door.

“Hyunsukie hyung?” There’s no answer. Junkyu waits a few moments, before rapping on the door a bit harder.

(Is he?)

“Hyung? You in there?” Junkyu shifts his weight. A muffled hum finally responds. Junkyu takes it as an invitation to barge in. “Hope you don’t mi-” He spots Hyunsuk resting his head on his arms, hunched over the table. 

(Yes, he is.)

Despite Hyunsuk’s apparent little snooze, his eyebrows are still lightly creased. Junkyu huffs, a breath of equal parts exasperation and endearment. He puts a hand on the shoulder of the dozing eldest. “Hyung, get up,” Junkyu whispers. Junkyu then moves his hand to smooth the visible tension on Hyunsuk’s forehead. Finally, a disgruntled moan comes from Hyunsuk as he seems to hesitantly drag his head up. He groggily looks up at Junkyu, murmuring, “Hey, Kyu.”

(Method of waking Hyunsuk: annoying him awake. Commenced.)

“Hey to you too, sleepyhead.”

Hyunsuk snorts and weakly shoves Junkyu. Junkyu giggles, maybe a bit too high-pitched as Junkyu sees Hyunsuk cringe. Hyunsuk takes one of Junkyu’s hands and covers his mouth with it. “Too loud.” Junkyu rolls his eyes, before his line of vision brushes over the computer screen. It’s dark. Actually, it’s off.

“Can’t even wait for the computer to turn off before you knock out? That impatient, hyung?” Junkyu teases, hoping the egging will get Hyunsuk’s butt off the chair and his head off the table.

Hyunsuk bats at Junkyu. “Shut it, I’m up.” He blindly waves for a second, before he snatches a glance at Junkyu. Hyunsuk lightly slaps him on the cheek. “Any other day I’d be okay with you being in here but get outta my room, please.”

(Result of annoying him awake: works wonderfully well still. 80% success rate sustained.)

“Okay, hyung!” Junkyu sings. “Sleep tight! Don’t let the bugs bite!” Hyunsuk goes for one last act of retaliation, a weak kick that leaves Junkyu skittering and cackling away. As Junkyu goes back into the hall, the door closes closes behind him. Junkyu inhales deeply, feeling a bit energized after that short spell of fun. It adds a strut to his step.

As he reaches his dorm room with Yedam, he opens it to see Yedam in bed and fast asleep. The sight of Yedam’s fluffy hair peeking out from under the duvet warms Junkyu. He quietly walks over, strokes Yedam’s head and whispers, “Goodnight Yedammie.” Afterwards, he makes his way to the restroom to prepare for bed.

Beneath the covers, Yedam smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still uncomfortable with the pacing but hopefully it'll smooth out when everything else gets written (or not who knows). I do have all my planning done so the next chapter will probably be posted after school ends for me. This week is exam week for me and I'm trying to pretend I am. totally. fine. Anyway, here's the usual: Thank you for reading! I appreciate any comments and criticism I'm given! (and once again, thank you alternativekpop for being my reliably enthusiastic beta reader! Go read her newest fic everyone :D)
> 
> I'm a pretty introverted person, but if you wanna try talking to me anyway, you can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram  
> Twitter: @UJinblossoms  
> Tumblr: @frenchblue32  
> Instagram: @suncovered.snow


	3. Chapter 3

Hyunsuk side glances at Jihoon straightening his back.

“Hello! I’m Jihoon, host of this show,” Jihoon starts, his loud voice naturally resonating.

“I’m Jaehyuk!” Jaehyuk finishes excitedly from across the room.

Hyunsuk bounces in his seat giddily as he claps with everyone else. After so long, they’re finally filming a V LIVE again! And finally, he can meet his fans again! Hyunsuk stares at the phone, smiling dumbly. Comments of greeting and elation fly through the side of the V LIVE screen. As Jihoon begins narrating, Hyunsuk looks up, refreshing himself with a scrunch of his shoulders and a release of breath through his nose. Another round of cheer erupts as they introduce themselves as Treasure 13. They smoothly transition into individual introductions, courtesy of Jihoon.

“Hello, I’m Yoon Jaehyuk-” Jaehyuk’s voice comes out cute and nasally, cracking Hyunsuk up. He exchanges glances with a brightly smiling Jihoon, also amused by Jaehyuk’s sincere efforts. Hyunsuk sits the phone between his legs as they go down the line of members. Relaxing into himself, he applauds for each introduction, feeling his palms sting for clapping so much. He contently listens to everyone, reacting with casual joviality, the essence of his trained swagger hip hop persona.

(And then Hyunsuk remembers that the persona all but disappears the moment Doyoung opens his mouth. He has a weak spot for him, okay? Heck, he swears almost everyone does in Treasure 13, even the members younger than Doyoung. Hyunsuk’s pretty sure he’s seen Junghwan ogling Doyoung in admiration almost every time the two dancers were in the same group).

After bringing out the cake for Treasure 13, Junkyu struggling with lighting the candles on the cake, and singing happy birthday for the start of the V LIVE channel, Hyunsuk looks down at the phone again, eyes locking on every comment. He’s frozen in fascination, not having been able to do a V LIVE like this since the beginning of YG Treasure Box. That is until he sees those ever so familiar words.

_HYUNSUK OUT._

He tenses. Hyunsuk gulps, willing himself to forget what he saw.

(It’s just one comment. Just one comment. Idols get hate all the time.)

Choosing to look up, he rocks back and forth, pretending he’s simply casually listening to them answer questions. His head lolls to Jihoon, who gives Hyunsuk his twinkling smile. Jihoon nudges Hyunsuk down at the phone again. Inwardly, Hyunsuk hesitates, held back by an unspeakable urge to want to stop time and let himself curl up into a ball for a while, but nevertheless, Hyunsuk peers down, hoping he sees no hate comments towards himself, worse any towards the younger. He softly sighs in relief as he sees none, only messages of fans calling him and the members cute and trying to grab their attention.

Hyunsuk can’t help but restlessly, almost drunkenly, move around. A few times he catches himself just staring off, and he finds himself drawn back to the phone, his heartbeat quickening every time he does. Hyunsuk sneaks another look at Jihoon. A brief sensation of reassurance spreads through his chest as the other cheerfully looks back, and he’s once again compelled to brave a glance down at the phone through the brewing storm inside of him. Hyunsuk feels Jihoon leaning over, following Hyunsuk’s gaze. And for a second, Hyunsuk feels himself relax. No bated breaths or rigid uncertainty.

(Oh, thank god. There’s noth-)

Jihoon grabs for the phone, but Hyunsuk has already seen it.

_HYUNSUK OUT. XX_

His eyes zero in on the comment as the phone drifts from his hands to Jihoon’s. It doesn’t stop him from reading three rapid-fire comments consecutively echoing the same statement.

(Oh how the universe just loves to be on Hyunsuk’s side when he needs it most. This is just what he needs. Deep-seated self-contempt and shame.)

He doesn’t miss the suppressed panic on Jihoon’s face. Jihoon’s eyes bleed emotions unreadable and overwhelming. His eyes flash away from Hyunsuk. When Hyunsuk turns to find what Jihoon’s sight flickered to, he sees an owlish Junkyu, bright and energetic. Hyunsuk realizes his posture has been unknowingly stiff for the whole ordeal. He untenses, and Junkyu lips press into a small smile of familiarity before the younger’s body quickly turns back to the front.

The rest of the V LIVE passes by in a blur as the V LIVE comments do. Hyunsuk glances at the phone a few more times out of obligation.

(Though really, it’s because he somehow still retains the tiniest amount of desire to connect with his fans. The urge for a mutual exchange of love and support. The sensation of free falling into a pit of songs and stars).

When they all have to say goodbye, Hyunsuk can’t help but feel slightly relieved. The simultaneously longest and shortest 30 minutes he’s ever had to endure finally ends after a round of last words and promises to see the fans again. Everyone flurries around to help put everything back where they came from. The balloons get taken down. The chairs get put back. Some of the members are drained from the V LIVE. Some are somehow even more invigorated, though Hyunsuk doubts they’ll last more than an hour before they crash from their adrenaline.

“I’m going to my studio,” he offhandedly throws at the nearest person listening, who happens to be Jihoon. He doesn’t wait for an answer as his feet take him away from the activity behind him.

It feels like no passage of time has truly happened when he finds himself yanking the translucent door open and slamming it shut behind him. Usually, his head would be a raging river of clashing thoughts and emotions coursing through, but in its absence, all Hyunsuk feels is muted pain, needling every inch inside his chest. He looks up.

It’s not his studio. He ended up in a practice room—the practice room he trained in the most with the other boys for years.

A flash bomb of memories blinds him.

(Ah, there they are, those noisy thoughts of his. If they weren’t so detrimental to his mental health, he might’ve missed all their loud commentary that slowly drives him insane).

Hyunsuk becomes aware of his pounding heart. He becomes aware of his weak knees and hobbles to a seat. He becomes aware of the leather beneath him, aware of the wall that he leans against, and aware of his shallow breaths. He sits there and becomes acutely aware of a rare opportunity for his brain to think of nothing, so he does. That is, Hyunsuk simply sits and wills himself to stare into nothing.

Hyunsuk hears the doorknob turn.

“Junkyu, I’ll be back later.”

“Okay, I’ll be sure to tell him that, hyung,” replies a voice that isn’t Junkyu.

Hyunsuk rotates his head at Yedam, whose figure is polite and slightly hunched, making him appear smaller than usual. Seeing that Yedam isn’t leaving immediately after saying that, Hyunsuk asks, “Shouldn’t you be going back to the dorms with the others?”

Yedam nods slowly, as if deep in pondering. “I will. Can I sit with you?”

A smile plays at Hyunsuk’s lips. He huffs, “Why? You’re just gonna sit with me in silence?”

Yedam hums, a shadow of a grin slowly forming on his face. “Can I?” Hyunsuk shrugs and resumes staring at the ceiling as Yedam closes the short distance between them. When he sits, he snuggles up against Hyunsuk, wrapping himself around Hyunsuk’s arms. He leans against Hyunsuk, digging into his shoulder. Hyunsuk is still doing nothing, but Yedam is there now at the very least. Hyunsuk let’s himself slump against the younger. The room gets a little less heavy, a little less weighty.

“Hey hyung?”

“Hm?”

Yedam readjusts himself against Hyunsuk slightly. “It’s gonna be alright.”

This time, Hyunsuk can’t stop his smile. “If it’s coming from you, then I believe it.” Hyunsuk slips his fingers through one of Yedam’s hands. Yedam eagerly clasps them together. He makes a pout up at Hyunsuk. “And what makes you say that?”

“If there’s anyone who’d know, it’d be you.”

They fall back into silence again. Hyunsuk still feels the muted pain across his chest, and he’s a little ashamed that, Yedam, whose younger than him, is trying to console him. “You know what? Why don’t we go back? I’ll just work at home.”

Yedam peaks up at Hyunsuk in surprise. “Okay, let’s go!” Hyunsuk gets up with Yedam still holding onto him, though untangling himself from Hyunsuk’s arm. They make their way down, passing only a few words in between. When they reach the front entrance, Hyunsuk frowns. The sky is white blowing sheets of raindrops. He completely forgot it was going to rain today.

“Hyung? I forgot to bring my umbrella,” Yedam rubs his neck sheepishly. “Did you bring yours?”

“Nah, sorry.” Hyunsuk sighs, cursing his luck again.

“Ready to make a break for it then?”

“Huh?” Hyunsuk turns to see a thrilled glint in Yedam’s pupils. Hyunsuk feels his mouth curl into a smirk that matches the younger’s excitement. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

After covering jackets over their heads as flimsy protection against the elements, they burst through the double doors out onto the pavement. Their shoes splash and squelch against puddles as they yell in exhilaration at the shock of the downpour.

It’s dreary. It’s wet. Hyunsuk is getting soaked to the bone. But even so, at the very least, he isn’t alone.

 

 

 

He really does try to avoid all the hate comments. Try as Hyunsuk may, however, he still hears the words swirling around him and haunting him, possessing voices in his head to repeat them at any time of the day. Sometimes, he thinks the words have already imprinted themselves into his eyes. A lot of the times, he finds himself back to those comments, back to those articles, back to those scathing insults.

Junkyu appears through the door frame, and Hyunsuk quickly switches browsers. He rests his head on Hyunsuk’s head and normally, Hyunsuk would complain about being a chinrest, but for today, he leans back into Junkyu.

“Hey Hyunsukie-hyung. What are you working on?”

“Nothing much. Just something I thought of when I was supposed to be working on something else.”

Junkyu lets out an amused noise. Hyunsuk can feel Junkyu’s vocal cords vibrate against the back of his head. “Can I listen?”

“Mm, sure.”

The instrumentals are calmer, with softer beats and a smooth melody. It cascades throughout the room, and Hyunsuk rests against Junkyu. Hyunsuk looks up at Junkyu, who promptly shifts himself to look down as well. And definitely not for the first time, Hyunsuk submerges himself in Junkyu’s smiling gaze.

“So what are you doing in my room Kyu-ah?”

Junkyu straightens his back, and suddenly, Hyunsuk’s face is in between Junkyu’s two large hands. "Staging an intervention.”

Hyunsuk blinks at Junkyu. “Uhm, what?” Junkyu abruptly slaps his hands on the armrests of Hyunsuk’s chair and wheels him so that he faces Junkyu. The door to Hyunsuk’s room bursts open with Jihoon loudly announcing, “The Hyunsuk needs a break task force has arrived!”

“You’re under arrest for working too much and always being stuck in your room.” Yedam slides to the left of Jihoon, finger guns pointing at Hyunsuk. Doyoung appears from the right of Jihoon, “Hands off the keyboard, hyung, and no one will be hurt! Your punishment is hanging out with us for tonight and leaving your computer!”

It takes a moment to process the silly sight in front of him before Hyunsuk laughs at their ridiculousness. “What’s all this? I’m fine guys, seriously.”

“Riiiight,” Jihoon drawls. “You’ve been holing yourself in your room for almost two weeks.” He goes over and swings an arm around Hyunsuk’s neck. Hyunsuk makes exaggerated choking noises as Jihoon shakes him and continues, “We just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“And I appreciate all your worry, but there really is nothing to worry about.” Hyunsuk lightly slaps Jihoon on the arm as payback for wringing his neck.

“Then what do you have pulled up on the internet?” Junkyu interjects. At this, Hyunsuk freezes, eyes switching to the internet icon on his taskbar.

(The lighter hue of the background of the internet icon stares back, a glaring shade of blue that gives him a sense of panic greater than a blue screen of death. Curse it).

“Ahhh, it’s just something I was looking up. Forgot about it,” Hyunsuk explains, ending with a small, anxious chuckle and hoping he didn’t sound too nervous saying all that. Doyoung walks over with Yedam behind him.

Hyunsuk sits up, “Hey hey hey-” Suddenly, he feels himself pushed back down by Jihoon as Junkyu and Yedam rudely roll him away from his desk. “Wha- Jihoon! Junkyu!” Doyoung makes fast clicks of opening and closing the internet browser, only pausing slightly to take a glance at the hate-filled blog post. Hyunsuk’s heart sinks, seeing frowns appear on Doyoung and Yedam’s faces. Everyone turns back towards him.

“You know you don’t have to go through this alone right?” Jihoon speaks up first. “You don’t have to hide the fact that this hurts. And I’m sure you already know this, but you’re not the only person getting hate.” His hands are on Hyunsuk’s shoulders now, lightly squeezing them. Hyunsuk sighs, head canting down.

“I know, it’s just-” the words catch in Hyunsuk’s throat momentarily but the warm and concerned stares of Doyoung and Yedam eases them back out. “-I guess, I’m the leader now, right?”

They all nod in understanding.

“I feel like I should be stronger than the comments. That I should be facing all my problems head on and doing what a leader should be doing. Taking care of the group. Making sure everything is in order when it needs to be and always being at the ready.”

Hyunsuk doesn’t realize he’s twiddling his thumbs until his spiel ends, and he has to face the response of his members. His friends. His brothers.

(Even worse, he has to face himself).

“But…” Yedam starts. “That doesn’t mean you have to avoid telling us you know? Like you said, we’re a group. Even though you’re the leader, your still our beloved hyung. We still help shoulder your burdens. We want to. As you are our pillar, we’re still your support and beams.”

Doyoung, who has been relatively quiet the whole time, says in a small voice, “And we miss you hyung. Every time I ask for you, you’re always busy doing something, whether that be speaking with company representatives, meeting with manager noonas, working with Raesungie hyung, Jaewon sunbae, and Hanbin sunbae, or just hiding in your studio.”

(And that’s what the one thing he was afraid of them saying. The real reason for why he’s always hiding. Escaping from not only himself but from others, not wanting others to see this weak, unstable, and unhealthy side of him).

Yedam lightly reaches his arm around Doyoung’s shoulder and pulls him towards his side. Hyunsuk gulps at the familiar action, realizing he hasn’t seen it in a while. His chest clenches and tightens.

Junkyu moves in front of Hyunsuk, who's still sat in his chair. Junkyu's tall figure looms over him. “Manager noona and everyone else is already doing what they can. So let’s do all that we can, and that means getting your head away from your screen and your butt with people who actually know and care about you, yeah?” Junkyu offers his hand.

It feels like Hyunsuk is giving up somehow, that he’s opening the walls he so painstakingly built up to protect him from the cruel, harsh world. But, when he looks around at Doyoung and Yedam--aged souls trapped in young bodies--and at Jihoon and Junkyu--both at the crossroad between adulthood and teenage years cut short by maturity--he remembers a part of the reason why he’s here.

(A phrase that kept him going throughout the years).

(When times get difficult, look to your members).

And Hyunsuk realizes, he misses them, too. Without another moment of hesitation, he takes Junkyu’s hand, allowing himself to be lifted up. He allows himself to be strung along to the living room, where there’s a mountain of snacks at the ready. He allows himself to get dragged into laughter and board games. He allows himself to get washed away by inside jokes and simplicity.

And for once, his escape feels less like prison and more like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely unbeta-ed. We die like men. Also, I'm really tired after finishing this at 1 in the morning when I have volunteering to do tomorrow, and I just needed to get this out there after procrastinating on finishing this for two whole weeks. I'll come back and edit it later but for now, thanks for reading! The fourth chapter might be as lengthy as the first, so it might take a bit for me to write. <3
> 
> Edit: dunno if anyone read the chapter before I edited but if you’re back and it looks different, that’s cause I just finished looking over the chap for mistakes :p feel free to point out any i missed tho
> 
> I'm a pretty introverted person, but if you wanna try talking to me anyway, you can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram  
> Twitter: @UJinblossoms  
> Tumblr: @frenchblue32  
> Instagram: @suncovered.snow


	4. Chapter 4

Packing thirteen people through a single doorway forces everyone into a single file line. It works out for Junkyu, lingering near the back with Jihoon.

“You guys will be alright, right?” Jihoon rolls his eyes at the question Junkyu has already asked countless times. However, Jihoon’s look of exasperation and reassurance still fails to cover Jihoon’s underlying worry from Junkyu. Not for the first time, Junkyu feels himself flush from his self-consciousness and not so invisible restlessness. Jihoon and Hyunsuk will be fine. Hyunsuk will be fine. The V LIVE is going to be okay.

(Junkyu still has no idea whose bright idea it was to give Hyunsuk the phone while he was in the middle of a barrage of online hate at the moment. Maybe it was Hyunsuk’s idea as the leader, but even so, did no one think to stop him?)

“Hey.”

Junkyu feels a smack against the back of his neck. Jihoon wears a small smile that Junkyu rarely sees. It’s one reserved for quiet moments and deep philosophical conversations at three in the morning.

“If you keep glaring at Asahi’s back you might burn a hole through him.”

Junkyu lightly sighs. “Just watch out for Hyunsuk.”

“I know I know. We’ve already established that I’ll be perched over his shoulder hawk eyeing the comments, kay?” Jihoon pokes Junkyu, to which Junkyu crinkles his nose at Jihoon.

As they enter the room where they will be recording their V LIVE, Junkyu nudges Jihoon. “And watch out for yourself, too.”

Jihoon snorts. “Yeah yeah. Don’t worry about me.” He nonetheless gives an appreciative expression before they separate into their assigned places. Junkyu takes a deep breath, shimmying himself into a comfortable position. He stares at the camera, it’s black lens winking his reflection back at him.

(This is where he sits. Right in the spotlight. Nice).

Junkyu isn’t being sarcastic. Not really at least. He just has a lot on his mind. The staff behind the camera announces that they’ll be starting, and they begin.

Admittedly, it feels more natural than Junkyu had initially anticipated, being the center of attention and dancing their way into the V Live. He steals a glance at Jihoon.

(Have faith in them. They’ll be fine).

However, as comfortable as Junkyu feels, he itches to turn his head behind him, almost annoyed that he isn’t in a place where he can keep a watchful eye on Jihoon and Hyunsuk.

(Goddamn it. They’ll be fine. They’ll be fine. They’ll be...fuck it).

Jihoon catches Junkyu’s eyes. Junkyu jerks back towards looking at the camera while cheering with everyone. He gets the feeling that he probably isn’t going to hear the end of it from Jihoon after the V Live, but he can’t help it. Although, at the very least, Junkyu guesses he should probably not make it obvious to everyone else as well. As Jihoon points at Jaehyuk to start introductions, Junkyu makes sure to gaze down the members of each one who speaks and be extra rambunctious where appropriate, such as right now.

“HELLO. I’M JUNKYU WHO IS 20 YEARS OLD!”

He’s rather proud of himself with the amount of enthusiasm he puts into his introduction. Good to know his overwhelming vibrato has still stuck with him through two survival shows. Suddenly, Jihoon calls for the cake. As it gets passed to Junkyu, he’s struck immediately that there will be candles. Those candles will need to be lit. He’s being trusted with fire while he’s still trying to gather his senses.

(Oh shit).

The only thing Junkyu is chanting through his head is, “Calm the fuck down,” as he struggles with the matches, too hyped up on V Live adrenaline and him trying to not listen to the thoughts listing everything that could go wrong in his head.

(Well, more specifically, things that could go wrong with two certain people in the back that he can’t see cause he’s sitting in the darn front).

He has a mini heart attack when he nearly burns himself as the match sparks alight. Junkyu hears Jihoon making fun of his panic noises, and for once, the other’s teasing serves to comfort him. When he passes the empty package of candles to Jihoon under his orders, Junkyu is slightly taken aback by just how much his hands are trembling.

(And he drops the matches too. Right in front of Hyunsuk. As Hyunsuk steps on the match Junkyu dropped to make sure the fire is out, Junkyu hopes- no prays, that Hyunsuk is blissfully unaware and will stay blissfully unaware throughout the whole live).

Junkyu wonders if the glances between him and Jihoon give Jihoon as much solace as they do for Junkyu.

It turns out, swinging his body around like a maniac also helps with shaking out his anxiousness. He thinks he could get the hang of this whole leadership thing, dragging everyone through the V Live and making sure they hit everything they’re supposed to cover. Maybe he could even volunteer to be MC next time.

At some point, Junkyu considers that maybe this isn’t so bad--being able to let himself go for a bit. It’s easier than he expected for him to cackle away his worries.

“Don’t we have questions in the comments?” Jihoon announces. Junkyu blanks for a moment and a mumble of agreement spreads throughout the room. He sees Jihoon eye him.

(Trust him).

Junkyu feels the antsiness dancing across his skin again, so he resumes his strategy of covering it up and releasing it at the same time. Look away. Steal glances at Jihoon and Hyunsuk. Give some attention to Junghwan. Peek at Hyunsuk. Laugh at something another member did. Stare not so indiscreetly at the pair in the back. Tease Jeongwoo and Jaehyuk. Whip his head back at Jihoon.

(And- oh).

He spots the phone trapped between Hyunsuk and Jihoon’s palms and Jihoon’s pupils frozen in distress. Junkyu switches to observing Hyunsuk. The eldest member’s eyes are unfocused and glossy.

(Lost. Pained).

In the split second of Junkyu’s brain yelling at him to do something, he musters the most stupidly cheery expression he can. Junkyu stalls, just for a second. He doesn’t really know what indication he’s looking for in Hyunsuk, but when he thinks he sees the other’s small frame loosen ever so slightly, he takes it and pressures himself to let it go for now. As Junkyu turns back to the front, he picks at his nails.

(Don’t let your guard down).

He then remembers that they’re on V Live, and he has the role of mood maker to fulfill in the group. If he can’t uplift his own mood or the people closest to him, at least he can uphold an atmosphere for his dear fans.

(Even with an ambivalent heart).

So he shoves the rest of his trepidations down like he’s been trying to do for the whole live, dragging his conscious to the end. In one of his last check-ups on Treasure 13’s two leaders, he catches Mashiho staring at him with a knowing, telling look. Junkyu thanks him with a grin that Junkyu knows wouldn’t convince anyone, much less Mashiho, that everything in his head is fine, but the small boy silently soothes some of Junkyu’s anxieties with warm, brown eyes anyway.

Junkyu takes one last look at Jihoon as they announce that they have to say goodbye. He feels a sigh of relief in need of releasing from his lungs, and he lets it out as they bow.

(And they all proceed to mess up the outro).

Everyone laughs, a small moment of humor breaking the apprehension building up within Junkyu. He takes the last ounce of momentum from their shenanigans and uses it to carry him through the end. The staff gives a thumbs up and congratulates them.

The room fills with noise as they celebrate the conclusion of their first V Live. Junkyu uses the excitement as his chance to surge up first, helping the staff out and cleaning everything up. With the large number of people in the room, the practice room returns to its original state quickly. With a self-approving nod, he sets his focus on his priority.

Junkyu frantically searches for Hyunsuk and Jihoon. He rushes back to the entrance of the V Live room to find Hyunsuk swiftly disappearing down the hall away from a rigid Jihoon. Doyoung walks out of the V Live room door and looks between Jihoon and Junkyu. He finally lays sight on Hyunsuk as well just as Hyunsuk turns the corner. Junkyu’s brain snaps out of a trance once Hyunsuk has disappeared, and he realizes he should’ve tried to go after him. He didn’t, though. Something stopped him, and the subsequent thought makes him do a critical double-take on himself.

(He thinks that watching Hyunsuk retreat must’ve struck some chord in him. Or maybe his subconscious realized he was being too watchful and stopped him from suffocating Hyunsuk from his hovering eye).

He threads his fingers through his bangs. He doesn’t have time to deal with his messy thoughts.

“Where’s he going?” Doyoung softly asks. “Jihoonie hyung?”

Junkyu steps to Jihoon’s side. He pauses when he sees Jihoon’s unconcealed disquiet.

“I don’t know. He just said he’s going to his studio.” Jihoon’s reply comes out with an uncharacteristic hollowness to it.

“I’ll go after him,” Yedam says.

Junkyu, along with Jihoon and Doyoung, spin around to see Yedam, Mashiho, Yoonbin, and Asahi stood behind them. Yoonbin leans against the wall behind everyone while Yedam faces them at the front. Mashiho and Asahi stand side by side pressed together. Junkyu cocks his head, eyebrows furrowing. He goes to open his mouth, but the question about what Yedam is going to do dies in his throat when Junkyu takes a second look at the younger. Junkyu understands. Yedam is magic when it comes to knowing the right words and the right actions at the right time. Junkyu looks to Jihoon and Doyoung, and they seem to understand as well, letting Yedam slide past them without protest or interrogation.

Mashiho steps forward. “The intervention is tonight, right? Seems like Hyunsuk hyung would especially need it right now.”

Jihoon nods. “Has everyone gone already?”

“Check the intervention initiative group chat,” Yoonbin pipes up. “They’re already making bets against each other and arguing over which game to play first.”

Mashiho gives the same warm expression he gave to Junkyu during the V Live. “Yoshinori has already taken everyone back to the dorms. Don’t worry about us.”

“We’ll be having our impromptu game night and partying.” Yoonbin winks at them and finger guns with his gummy smile. The ease caused by Yoonbin’s cool demeanor is almost tangible.

(Junkyu forgets just how much he appreciates his members sometimes).

“Uhm,” Asahi—voice light as a feather—speaks up after having been silent and fiddling with something behind his back the whole time. He timidly walks up to Junkyu.

“Yes, Asahi?” Junkyu blinks down at the Japanese boy, confused. From behind his back, Asahi reveals a USB drive. Jihoon and Doyoung peak over Junkyu’s shoulder.

“What is it?” Doyoung asks from beside Junkyu. Junkyu picks up the USB drive from Asahi’s palms, flipping it around in his hands.

Asahi plays with the hem of his sweater. “It’s a gift sort of.”

“It’s a message from the other members, and well, least to say without, giving too much away, a message from the ones who know what it’s like.” Junkyu looks up at Mashiho, whose expression has fallen.

“Thank you,” Jihoon says graciously. Junkyu and Doyoung follow in their gratitude before Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoonbin leave. However, Yoonbin pops his head out one last time. “Oh and by the way! Junkyu! Jihoon! Don’t forget to give yourselves a break, too! Or else we’ll have to start planning Intervention 2.0!” Before Junkyu can even begin to formulate a response, Yoonbin runs away, the other’s footsteps thudding and fading down the hall. Junkyu huffs in amusement.

He turns back to Jihoon. Much to his relief, the disquiet is gone from the other’s face, replaced by a fond, tight-lipped smile. Junkyu shifts awkwardly and lays a hand on Jihoon shoulder. Jihoon looks over, momentarily surprised, before he rolls his eyes. “What, you worrywart?”

“Are you-“

Their phones all buzz suddenly, causing Junkyu to jump. Junkyu pulls his phone out.

“I think I found Hyunsuk hyung. You guy’s should probably go ahead. Dunno how long I’ll be here,” Jihoon reads aloud. Junkyu sees the notification from the group chat with just him, Yedam, Jihoon, and Doyoung.

“Let’s hurry then. So we can set everything up before Hyunsuk hyung gets back,” Doyoung urges.

Junkyu takes the lead by sprinting down the hall the moment Doyoung says that, his words quickly fading behind him. “Yah! Wait up!” He hears Jihoon call from behind him.

“Hurry up!” Junkyu takes a glance back to stick his tongue out at the other. He reaches the elevator door first, mashing the button. The door to his left opens immediately, and right then, Junkyu turns to see Doyoung close behind. Junkyu rushes into the elevator, frantically motioning Doyoung towards him.

“Quick quick quick!” Junkyu chants.

Doyoung crashes into him with a hug as Junkyu sees Jihoon come running.

Seemingly on the same wavelength as Junkyu, Doyoung dives for the elevator buttons as Junkyu quietly shouts, “Close it!”

“No, no guys wait!” Jihoon yells, a string of expletives following.

The elevator doors dramatically close as Jihoon gets a few feet from the elevators before they shut. Junkyu looks at Doyoung, whose looking back at him. They laugh.

“Goddamn it! I swear you two!” Slamming comes from the other side.

The slams quiet as the elevator goes down. “How’d he end up so far away?” Junkyu asks.

“Mmmm, I may have tickled him,” Doyoung replies as he leans against the back of the elevator with Junkyu. Junkyu raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, he is going to kill you.”

“Ehhhh, I’ll be fiiiine. He loves me too much,” Doyoung smirks. “And plus, I can hang over the fact that I keep bothering him to take care of himself but he never listens.” He looks away, gaze finding interest in the light fixtures. Junkyu tilts his head. “How so?” The question somehow feels redundant.

(It echoes around in his head until it comes rebounding back. The question stares at him—scrutinizes him).

Junkyu gulps. Doyoung looks at him oddly. “You’d probably know, too. Wouldn’t you?” A response tries to form in Junkyu’s head, but nothing comes under Doyoung’s gaze. His eyes are deep, almost judging.

(No. That’s the obvious answer, right? He wouldn’t. In Hyunsuk, sure, but him? Junkyu? No. Of course not).

Junkyu’s chest constricts, trapping his thoughts and words, so he just massages the nape of Doyoung’s neck. Doyoung’s eyes blink slowly, and he slacks under Junkyu’s touch.

“Aigoo. Aren’t you a caring maknae,” Junkyu coos. Doyoung let’s out a breath of exasperation, mouth scrunching cutely. Junkyu finds himself resting on that sight. He finds himself wanting to capture the moment and tuck it away in his memory.

(This feels familiar).

It brings him back to a younger and chubbier Doyoung. Everyone loved to pinch and squish his cheeks.

(In fact, he’s pretty sure he might’ve even been in this exact same position with Doyoung. The two of them leaning against the back of the elevator, only with other people inside. Like-).

“Hyung?”

Junkyu blinks. He catches himself in his thoughts and yanks himself back.

(That was too close).

“Hyung you’ve just been creepily staring at me for the past minute.”

Junkyu takes his hand off of the back of Doyoung’s neck. “Sorry.” The elevator doors open just in time. Junkyu thanks the gods of timing. “We should probably wait for Jihoon, shouldn’t we?” Junkyu says the question more like a statement. Doyoung hums. “Can’t have him without anyone to look after him,” Doyoung jokes. Junkyu snickers before he sees what looks faintly like unease in Doyoung, similar to what he saw in Jihoon earlier. Only, it resembles something more solid rather than the turbulence in him and Jihoon.

(Or well, Jihoon more than him. Yeah).

With a ping, the second set of elevator door opens with a slightly peeved Jihoon and an expression that screams he’s out for the blood of two knuckleheads. Jihoon runs out and throws his arms around the necks of Junkyy and Doyoung.

“Aggghhh,” Junkyu chokes, “Let go of me!” He shoves Jihoon off as he goes for a kick to Jihoon’s shin. Doyoung wrangles himself from Jihoon’s grasp as Jihoon dodges Junkyu’s attack. They jab at each other, physically and verbally, through the entrance of the YG building and outside. Their tussle finally dies down when they reach an intersection, silently promising to save their competition for later. Taunts turn into casual conversing, and teases turn into light jokes.

(It occurs to Junkyu, at some point during the walk to the dorms, that what he saw in Doyoung was care. Not apprehension. Not trepidation. Not anxiety. Pure, unadulterated care. And an immeasurable, sometimes forgotten amount of understanding Doyoung has for the people and things that exist within his world. Their world).

A cloud blocks the sun when they’re almost at the dorms, the wind whipping at Junkyu’s face. “Looks kinda scary,” Doyoung softly comments, looking behind him. Junkyu turns to see what he’s looking at as the cloud passes. Billowing, dark clouds edge ever closer in the distance. “Guess we should hurry,” Jihoon remarks. Junkyu finds himself needing to rip his gaze away to keep him from staring at the building cumulonimbus clouds.

“Race ya!” Jihoon suddenly calls out, already many paces ahead of him and speeding away with Doyoung.

“Wha- Jihoon!” Junkyu calls out incredulously as Jihoon drags Doyoung with him ahead. He chases them into the building and reaches the elevator doors, just as they close. Jihoon flips him off with a smirk. Doyoung waves apologetically behind him.

Junkyu sighs and pushes the elevator button.

(He guesses he deserves it, but how come Doyoung gets let off the hook when he was previously very visibly being Junkyu’s accomplice? That little traitor).

He’s pouting when the next elevator arrives. Stepping in, he jabs the number to their floor. Junkyu absentmindedly focuses on the numbers flashing for each floor. He fidgets with impatience, distracting himself with anything in his vicinity. When the doors open after an elevator ride that feels much longer than usual, he rushes to the dorm and carefully tiptoes in. He looks left and right as he enters, expecting someone to scare him.

“Yo! Kyu! where’d you put everything?” Jihoon’s voice echoes through the dorms.

(Ah, they’re in the kitchen).

“Uhm!” Junkyu finds them opening and closing cabinets. “Well, it’s kind of scattered around cause we needed to make it not look suspicious.” He points to the cooking equipment, paper kitchenware, and other knick-knacks that they all thought was a good idea to have.

“So with the snacks,” Junkyu scratches his head as he leads Jihoon and Doyoung to his room, “Yedam and I ended up hoarding most of it in our rooms cause ya know, wanted to keep it inconspicuous.”

“You guys didn’t eat any of it already, right?” Doyoung asks.

Junkyu stops and looks at Doyoung. “I did not drain my wallet for Hyunsuk just to have it be wasted for my consumption.” He flicks Doyoung’s forehead. Junkyu switches to looking at Jihoon, who just looks to be enjoying the view, and points a finger at him. “And you still need to pay me back for a third of it.”

They enter his room, and he flips up the covers of his bed. Junkyu pulls out a cardboard box filled up with food. He opens the flaps for Jihoon and Doyoung to see. “Everything that didn’t need to be refrigerated is in here.”

Junkyu hoists the box up. “Shall we get started?” They move back to the kitchen and begin pulling what they need out. Suddenly, their phones all buzz again from various parts of the room. Doyoung is the quickest to go grab his phone and shows it to Junkyu and Jihoon.

 

**Hyunsuk Intervention Initiative Subgroup**

**best hyung:** not to alarm but we’re almost back

 **best hyung:** also its raining :(

 **best hyung:** we’re soaked :((

 **best hyung** : and I’m cold :(((

 **best hyung:** all i have is sukkie hyungs warmth rn :((((

 

“Damn, they’re back already?” Junkyu says incredulously.

“And did you really make Yedam ‘best hyung’ as your contact?” Jihoon ruffles Doyoung’s hair. “I see where the alignment is.”

Doyoung just sticks out his tongue before he turns to Junkyu. “Should we go?”

“Nah, don’t leave,” Junkyu answers bluntly. “He honestly wouldn’t care.”

“But isn’t he like overly perceptive of everyone nowadays?” Jihoon prods.

Junkyu sighs. “Only towards others. He’d probably be happy seeing us do cross-dorm hangouts.”

“Kinda sounds like you, hyung,” Doyoung interjects, looking pointedly at Junkyu.

Jihoon raises an eyebrow at Junkyu. “Uh, you okay? Sounds like I might have to take Yoonbin up on that Intervention 2.0 thing.”

Now it was Junkyu’s turn to roll his eyes, but before Junkyu could argue back, a pouty Doyoung nags, “That was also directed at you, Jihoon hyung!” Junkyu can’t help his giggle at Doyoung muttering something about how he feels like he’s mothering two oblivious hyungs that refuse to look after themselves.

Junkyu grabs for Doyoung’s right cheek and Jihoon’s left cheek. He gives them a tight squeeze, much to the complaints of the two. “Aigoo you two, stop worrying about me.”

“Funny coming from you,” Jihoon quips. Jihoon yelps as Junkyu gives him an extra sharp pinch.

The sounds of Hyunsuk and Yedam loudly entering the dorm come not but a moment later. Junkyu looks at Doyoung and Jihoon alerted. They all nod, shoving the box of food aside and swiftly migrating to the couch. Junkyu flicks the TV on as Jihoon leans against him, grabbing for his phone. Doyoung takes up the rest of the space of the L sofa and pretends to nap. A shivering Hyunsuk and Yedam pass by. Junkyu carefully eyes the pair.

Hyunsuk slips out a breathless, “Hey,” but barely spares a glance at the occupants on the sofa. Yedam beams at them.

From next to Junkyu, Jihoon shifts to lazily wave at Yedam. “Go hurry and change into warm clothes.” Junkyu hums and winks at the younger.

Junkyu turns to also see Doyoung with his eyes open, who gives a wave to Yedam as well before Yedam retreats down the hall. Doyoung jumps up to peek around the corner. “I’ll go check on Hyunsukie hyung,” he says. Junkyu and Jihoon give him a thumbs up. As they wait, Junkyu stares blankly at the television, airing a random variety show. They don’t use the television that much anymore. Well, rather, Junkyu doesn’t personally use the television all that much anymore.

(Focus, Junkyu. Focus).

The television blurs first—then the sound muffles. Everything slows to low mumbles and messy bleeding colors. Junkyu realizes he’s spacing out. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

(He really needs to stop doing this. Every single time he even begins to think things are okay or he finds a moment of calm, he has to put energy into fending himself from threatening thoughts that always creep from the recesses of his brain. Whether he wants to acknowledge them or not, vaguely familiar shadows play and replay at every pause in his train of thought. Voices pass through so fast that they almost speak over one another. Jumping from Byounggon’s brotherly disposition to Woong’s honest cheeriness to Seunghun’s determined vigor to Midam’s endless support to-)

“Yah.”

Junkyu flinches. The world rushes back into his consciousness. “What?” Junkyu immediately regrets it when he meets Jihoon’s gaze. It’s too piercing, too deep. Junkyu peels his eyes away. For whatever unknown reason, he flashes a look back and unsurprisingly regrets it.

(Seriously, what was he expecting? For Jihoon to not be digging into his conscious in the split second Junkyu began panicking?)

In this specific moment, Junkyu would much prefer the ground swallow him whole rather than face Jihoon’s too intense and too-

(Tender? Attentive? Gentle? Concerned?)

-too overwhelming stare.

(Yeah, that works).

Doyoung, bless him, reappears with Yedam, holding the rest of the surprise party supplies. Yedam beams, “We’re ready!”

Progress is slow at the beginning, but things start slowly picking up when they get to the most daunting of the tasks, cooking. The dish of choice had been furiously argued over the weak before, not only by Junkyu, Jihoon, Yedam and Doyoung, but with the other Treasure 13 members, too. After heated debate, they had decided to attempt a simplified version of Hyunsuk’s favorite dish. Junkyu stares at the ingredients laid out in front of them. Absolutely none of them have any cooking skills, leading them to be hunched over the island counter, studying the directions.

“So...stove goes on high then medium…” Yedam mumbles to himself.

“Boil until soft...okay?” Jihoon scratches his head. “Guess I’ll find out what means when we get there...”

Doyoung stares at the phone blankly. He subsequently slips away. Junkyu diverts his focus from the phone and curiously watches Doyoung go into the hall. “Doyoung, where are you going?”

“Give me a second,” Doyoung throws back.

He comes back when they’re starting to organize the ingredients. In his hands are pens and sticky notes. “Why don’t we write the directions down and then stick them on the cabinets or counter? That way we can keep track of where we are.”

Jihoon gasps. “Doyoungie you’re a genius.” Doyoung bounces excitedly at the compliment as they all begin writing the directions down and delegating tasks.

Junkyu is appointed to be in charge of the pot after a bit of back and forth. He sulks at his position, still traumatized from the matchstick incident in today’s VLive. After a battle with sizzling water splattering back at Junkyu and confusion raging through the kitchen, they manage to at least get most of the ingredients into some kind of cooking ware.

The kitchen is kind of a mess. And by kind of, Junkyu means that it looks like a tornado had come through it.

(Dear god, they’re gonna have to clean all this up or Hyunsuk might actually kill them, even if they’ve been friends for years).

He doesn’t know how Hyunsuk hasn’t come out to check what all the ruckus is yet, though there were a few tense silences where they all stopped and strained their ears for any sign of movement from the eldest. It’s probably the only time Junkyu is grateful for the fact that Hyunsuk seems to just forget the outside world exists when he goes into his room to work. Now, they’re all peering intensely at the boiling pot and pan, one with the broth and one with the meat.

“So uh, who's gonna clean up first cause not me!” Jihoon says quickly.

“Not me!”

“Not me!”

“No- damn it.” Doyoung pouts.

“Language,” both Jihoon and Yedam say simultaneously, though Jihoon tacks on a teasing, “Ya baby.”

Doyoung huffs. “That’s not even a cuss word!” Junkyu decides to join Jihoon in suffocating Doyoung in head ruffles and furious cheek rubbing. “Yes, but we need to practice for broadcast you cutie,” Jihoon coos.

“We’re just looking out for our wittle Doyoungie,” Junkyu scolds in jest.

“Hyung! The pot‘s about to boil over!” Yedam calls frantically.

Jihoon spins around. “Oh shi-“

“Language!” Doyoung shoots out.

“Oh hush!” Jihoon retorts as he goes to turn down the heat, and Junkyu swipes for the lid. Yedam comes back with the phone, watching a video of the dish they are making. “I think it’s ready,” Yedam mumbles. He then nods more confidently as he examines the pot’s content, bubbling red and effusing a heavenly scent.

“Okay! Let’s get the plates! Maknae, get started on cleaning!” Jihoon commands. Doyoung pouts, unable to do anything but follow Jihoon’s commands. He dodges Junkyu’s head pat. Junkyu sniggers at the action as Jihoon comes to assist Junkyu in plating. Yedam gets the bowls and trivets. The younger quickly runs to the living room and back to help migrate the steaming food over. They all stand up after the perilous journey from the kitchen to the living room that was complemented by grunts and nervous noises, taking a short break.

Jihoon opens his mouth. “So who's gonna-”

“Not me,” Junkyu and Yedam quickly say. Junkyu high fives Yedam.

“God- Shoulda just said it,” Jihoon resigns sullenly, giving Junkyu and Yedam a “You win this time” expression. As Jihoon retreats back into the kitchen with a smug-looking Doyoung, Junkyu turns to Yedam and asks, “Just the snacks left and we’re nearly there. You ready?” Yedam twinkles at Junkyu, all pearly smiles and discreet glimmer.

(Oh the things Junkyu would do to keep that smile).

Because they’re not entirely heartless human beings, Junkyu and Yedam try to finish setting up all the food in time to help out the cleaning team. By the time they get back to the kitchen, however, Jihoon and Doyoung have almost finished making the kitchen return to its cleanly state of origin.

“No thanks to the two of you,” Jihoon taunts, throwing Junkyu a cleaning cloth.

“Eh, we knew you guys had it under control,” Junkyu replies, catching the fabric. They finish wiping down the counters before buckling into various positions of rest. Junkyu finds himself a spot to sit on the kitchen counter, Yedam leaping up and scooching to the space next to Junkyu. The smaller leans on him, and they relax against each other. “What time is it?” Junkyu asks. Jihoon and Doyoung both sit on the floor, backs against the lower cabinets.

“9:18, on time,” Jihoon replies, resting his eyes.

“Jeez…” Doyoung voices exasperatedly, “Hyung doesn’t even realize that he hasn’t had dinner yet. He doesn’t have a secret mini fridge in his room, does he?”

Junkyu gives a short laugh. “Definitely not. If he did, there’d be complaints about Haruto and Jeongwoo stealing from it 24/7.”

“And you,” Yedam adds.

“Quiet.” Junkyu covers Yedam’s mouth as the younger giggles.

“Care to share before we bust down Hyunsuk’s room?” Jihoon’s eyes flutter, interest piqued at the scandalous information.

“Whyyyy don’t we do Operation Hyunsuk-needs-a-break now? Storytime can wait for another day.”

Jihoon scoffs, entertained, before he says, “Speaking of which, we should probably quickly run through how this will work again.” Everyone nods as Jihoon continues. “So, Junkyu goes in first and gets Hyunsuk hyung comfortable and talking so he doesn’t get suspicious and freak out.”

Junkyu adds, “You all will be standing outside the door waiting for your cue. When I mention the intervention, that’s when you guys break in.”

“And then we cheer Hyunsuk hyung up and drag him from out of his hermit hole!” Doyoung finishes excitedly, raising his arms in the air. Yedam follows suit, kicking his legs as Junkyu and Jihoon laugh at them. Yedam hops off the counter and urges everyone to hurry. They get down the hall, shushing each other. Junkyu takes the lead, feeling something tighten in his throat.

(He doesn’t know where it comes from).

Once they're at the door, Jihoon nods to Junkyu as they stand in a place that isn’t in Hyunsuk’s line of sight, leaving Junkyu standing in front of the door.

(Really, he’s been pretty confident the whole time this plan will work).

The door opens. Hyunsuk is there, clicking away. Junkyu takes note of it as he goes over to rest his head on Hyunsuk. He expects Junkyu to push him away, but for once, Hyunsuk simply reclines against Junkyu. He takes note of that, too.

(Junkyu knows what he expected, but it’s somehow anticlimactic. Of course, Hyunsuk wouldn't visibly show his distress).

“Hey, Hyunsukie-hyung. What are you working on?”

(Easy does it).

“Nothing much. Just something I thought of when I was supposed to be working on something else.”

(Junkyu guesses the nervousness should be normal. He’s just more on edge than he had anticipated about this whole situation. Hyunsuk isn’t the type to lash out usually. Junkyu has nothing to worry about).

“Nothing much. Just something I thought of when I was supposed to be working on something else.”

(Junkyu does know a guilty face when he sees one, though. The glazed look, followed by flashes of panic. It’s why Junkyu explicitly said he’d be the one to go in first. At this point, he thinks he’s working up to be an expert reader of their leader’s expressions).

Junkyu pointedly looks at the highlighted internet browser on the taskbar. “Can I listen?”

“Mm, sure.”

He looks down. Hyunsuk looks up. Junkyu smiles and Hyunsuk does too in response. The nervousness fades.

“So what are you doing in my room Kyu-ah?”

A resurgence of confidence rises inside Junkyu. He spots his opening and silently thanks Hyunsuk for the perfect segue.

“Carrying out an intervention.”

“Uhm, what?”

Junkyu’s lips twitch as they come barging in, going through their spiel. He moves to lean against the wall, quietly watching in pride and amusement.

“What’s all this? I’m fine guys, seriously.”

Junkyu’s lips immediately curl into a frown.

“Riiiight,” Jihoon drawls as he takes the spot Junkyu had been standing in a moment ago. “You’ve been holing yourself in your room for almost two weeks. We just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“And I appreciate your worry, but there really is nothing to worry about.”

Junkyu huffs, feeling a twist of his gut. “Then what do you have pulled up on the internet?” The sight of Hyunsuk becoming rigid puts a knot in Junkyu’s throat.

(The nervousness is back but different this time. Junkyu wills himself to not think about it, purely focusing on Hyunsuk).

“Ahhh, it’s just something I was looking up. Forgot about it, hehe.” Hyunsuk glances at Junkyu, almost as if he fears him.

(The action only serves to restrict his breathing even more, leaving him with a heart thudding against his ribcage).

Junkyu exchanges fast glances with Yedam, Jihoon, and Doyoung. When he gets his line of sight back to Yedam, he and Yedam yank at Hyunsuk’s rolling chair, grabbing the spluttering elder away from his computer. Junkyu zones in on the screen in front of him. He sees the post. His grip tightens on the chair. Junkyu shakes the feeling of his heart dropping away, turning his attention to Hyunsuk with everyone else.

He listens. He observes.

(He finds himself focusing, not just on Hyunsuk—though that is still who he’s mainly watching—but on Yedam, Jihoon, and Doyoung as well. He takes in their words. Their expressions. Their voices. Their emotions).

“You know you don’t have to go through this alone right? You don’t have to hide the fact that this hurts. And I’m sure you already know this, but you’re not the only person getting hate.”

“I know, it’s just-” Hyunsuk pauses.

Junkyu sees the look. He wishes he could simply wipe it all the way. He sees the conflict and feels the sick, gut-twisting feeling he’s grown accustomed to enlarge. That distant expression, as if Hyunsuk was watching from behind a glass wall, is untouchable. He’s seen that wall too many times, having to find a way to slowly take it down or coax Hyunsuk to bring it down every single time.

(And sometimes when he looks into the wall, he can see himself in the reflection).

“-I guess, I’m the leader now, right?”

The statement by itself is true, but even just from the sidelines, Junkyu can feel the weight of the implications that it holds. He nods in understanding along with everyone else.

After Yedam gives a light urging of a response, Doyoung finally speaks up and goes for something more forward, but what gets Hyunsuk’s exterior cracking isn’t the words, it’s purely Yedam and Doyoung being them, leaning against each other, subconsciously gravitating towards each other. Yet, Hyunsuk still resists, even after chipping away at him for so long. It’s somehow infuriating.

(Junkyu hates it, and he hates how he finds it infuriating. It’s confusing. Junkyu swears to god, if Hyunsuk keeps resisting, Hyunsuk was going to make him lose his mind).

So Junkyu pushes himself away from his mind and in front of Hyunsuk, who’s owlishly staring up at Junkyu with trembling pupils. Junkyu takes a breath. “Manager noona and everyone else are already doing what they can. So let’s do all that we can, and that means getting your head away from your screen and your butt with people who actually know and care about you, yeah?”

Junkyu carefully but hopefully raises his palm. He tries to read into Hyunsuk’s glassy expressions as if Junkyu could telepathically probe into Hyunsuk’s inner thoughts.

(It would certainly be a very invasive superpower to have now that Junkyu thinks about it. He stops and tells himself to just wait).

Junkyu counts the beats that pass to the rhythm of his heartbeat. When Hyunsuk takes his hand, it almost startles Junkyu. Junkyu forces himself to release a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. He squeezes his hold on Hyunsuk as he takes him away, guiding him to the living room. While it’s not exactly the definition of far, Junkyu still feels his heart lightening and becoming more feathery with every step, bit by bit. Yedam has switched to clinging onto Hyunsuk as Junkyu sees Doyoung trail to the side of Jihoon. Junkyu can feel the anticipation between all of them as they reach their preparations.

(A less scary anticipation. One that doesn’t forebode elimination and competition).

When they come to a halt, Hyunsuk gasps, his face brightening. A sparkle shines in Hyunsuk’s eyes that Junkyu hasn’t seen in a while. Hyunsuk immediately starts laughing when he gets closer.

“Why are you laughing?” Doyoung whines.

“When’d you get the chance to buy and prepare all this?” Hyunsuk’s gaze roams over everything set out on the table.

Junkyu puffs out his chest, pridefully answering, “We had our ways around your imposing presence, dear leader.”

“Though, we were convinced a few times you may have already known,” Yedam chirps up.

“Well, what are you guys waiting for? We didn’t prepare all this to stare at it. C’mon! Let’s eat!” Jihoon urges.

They all settle themselves around the table, opening bags and scooping food for one another. It takes a bit of arguing between Junkyu, Hyunsuk, and Jihoon to serve everything as they pry serving rights from one another. Doyoung and Yedam end up ripping the ladle out of their hands for everyone to finally just scoop their own portions themselves. As Hyunsuk feeds a spoonful of soup to Yedam, Junkyu remembers the flash drive Asahi had given to him. Junkyu gets up, saying, “Gimme a sec, I'll be back.”

Hyunsuk quirks an eyebrow at him. “Where are you going?”

“Getting a laptop for something Asahi gave me earlier.” At the mention of Asahi, the expressions of Doyoung, Jihoon, and Yedam light up in recognition. Junkyu quickly swings into his room, getting his laptop and booting it up while he walks back. He sits down again with it on his lap and pulls the USB drive out of his pocket. Hyunsuk peers at it. “What’s that?”

Junkyu shrugs. “I don’t know. Asahi and Mashiho gave it to me today. Said it’s something for all of us to watch from people who understand what it’s like.”

“Oh,” Hyunsuk says curiously. Junkyu moves so that the laptop is in a position that everyone can see after Junkyu pulls up a singular video file on the drive. They scoot close, wiggling themselves into a little clump to be able to clearly see the screen. The video starts with the words, “To Hyunsuk, Jihoon, Junkyu, Yedam, and Doyoung.” Suddenly, it switches to Yoshinori, Mashiho, Asahi, and Haruto in the living rooms of the MAGNUM dorms.

Junkyu hears Jihoon mumble under his breath, “Dang, since when did they do this?”

It starts off awkward and funny as the four Japanese members joke around with one another. Junkyu finds himself smiling fondly at the scene. He glances at the others sitting around the table, who are doing the same. Suddenly, the tones of the members on-screen turn more serious. “...so uhm,” Yoshinori starts, “We know you guys have been going through a tough time. We thought we’d like to share some of our own experiences.” He looks at Mashiho who speaks next. They begin narrating their journey training in Japan and gradually easing into training in Korea in increasing frequency. Yoshinori and Mashiho dominate in explaining everything, having the best Korean among the Japanese members still.

(Although, Junkyu likes to think Haruto is getting to that level under his wing, even if Hyunsuk claims Junkyu’s tendency to mispronounce things is a bad influence on Haruto).

Asahi nods along vehemently as Yoshinori says, “Even though we’re still treasuring our last days being able to talk to Kotaro, Keita, and Mahiro…” Yoshinori’s face contorts slightly at the mention of Mahiro, but he continues. “...they’ll still be with us and support us in spirit, and they know we’ll do the same for them.”

“And it’s not like we’re alone,” Mashiho says softly with his reliably calming and grounding volume. “So...from people who understand what separation feels like while being far from home to another. Here’s a song we recorded together. It was a song that had been in the works for a long time, all the way back in Japan. We hope the video shows how much we thank you.” The video suddenly transitions to white text on black again.

 _We can’t promise a flower path_  
 _But we can promise us_  
 _We hope you know how much we value you_  
 _And how we wish to become people you can trust_  

A compilation of familiar faces flashes on the screen. Videos and moments that were never aired. Clips snuck on personal phones not meant to be used. Pictures of old, priceless memories.

(They’re almost aggravatingly tangible, as if Junkyu could touch the screen and be transported back one last time).

With every image of them altogether--every reminder of who wasn’t here anymore--a knife dashes through Junkyu’s heart.

(Had he known. Had he known. That’s all Junkyu keeps thinking. Had he known. Maybe he’d have been more appreciative of what he had. If only he had known).

He can’t see the screen much anymore. It’s too blurred by his tears as the images are filled with less and less people and the ones who were eliminated are seen in less frequency.

(And he hates himself for this. For being too cold to the idea of attachment. For being too used to the idea of temporary that he didn’t understand how good he had it).

Junkyu can barely understand Japanese, but he can tell the song is getting to its peak. The number of people in the images shrink to a familiar thirteen.

(He feels like he should be bitter, but he can’t bring himself to be. Not after seeing himself sing with Yunseo. Not after seeing himself dance and sing with Team A for the last time. Not after seeing all of them play games together. Not after Junkyu knows he misses those moments).

The song fades, sinking into its resolution. At this point, Junkyu doesn’t even try to hold in his sniffles and choked whimpers. Judging by the similar gasps of breath around him, Junkyu guesses the others are in equal states of disarray.

(No, not the moments. The people that filled those moments. Those people that are no more than a phone call away, yet it feels as the others have rushed forward in time, too busy in their newfound freedom. But maybe that’s just his own biased, self-centered point of view).

As the video ends, Junkyu recognizes the touch of Yedam’s palm over his hand. Junkyu turns over his hand to take Yedam’s hand into his. Junkyu’s tears empty out as he feels the phantom hole in his chest gradually filling back up with a renewed sense of determination to lose himself to a night of breathless, long-awaited carefreeness.

(They’ll be okay is what Junkyu is trying to convey to Yedam. He’ll be okay).

 

 

 

Night. Darkness. Shadows of raindrops. Rhythmic pitter patter.

That’s what Junkyu perceives when he opens his eyes. He groans and rolls over.

He has only slept for an hour. Junkyu curses.

(Great. Another one of these episodes).

Willing himself to sleep is an ironically tiresome and nearly impossible feat, so Junkyu just accepts his fate as he lies there with the world’s sounds as background noise. He knows he could get up and walk around, get a warm cup of milk or work on something, but he doesn’t feel like it.

(He thinks he feels numb in the darkness).

Before he knows it, the black tendrils of his thoughts begin creeping out of the corners of his mind. Usually, he fights against it, but Junkyu finds himself too tired and worn to do anything except let them slowly spill over.

(The evening replays in his mind again. For once, a pleasant thought).

Junkyu smiles. He’s okay with this, ignoring the likely fleetingness the memory is.

(He retraces the evening backward, from their drama marathon, intense board game match, and the conversations they had).

He feels like sitting up suddenly, so he does. He positions himself so that he’s facing the window, where the rain pours down onto the ground outside.

(A conversation resurfaces, the one they had after they finished watching the video made by the Japanese members).

Junkyu gulps. He remembers the soft voices and whispers, the comforts and reassurances. It’s suddenly harder to breathe.

(He’s spiraling, the happy thoughts losing hold and slipping through his fingertips).

He sees Hyunsuk. He seems himself leaning against him and somehow, just that image takes him down an even darker alleyway. Before he knows it, a wave of lightening thoughts fire off in his head, condescending, contradictory, loathing, ambivalent. The worst are hateful, of which are followed by fear and even more self-loathing. He’s fighting. He’s clawing.

(Really. He’s drowning. It seems like that’s all he can do against the storming currents of his thoughts. And so he lets it pull him down, deeper and deeper).

Everything moves into place for Junkyu in a series of jarring revelations. He draws his knees into his chest, leaning against the wall. He finds himself in contemplation, one he knows he’s avoided for god knows how long.

(Don’t think. Don’t think. Just don’t think).

It all comes anyway, and he sludges through the anger and anxiety. Every time, his throat closes up at the thought of NAVER and Hyunsuk in the same sentence, at YG Treasure Box, at him and his trainee days.

(It’s not about him. It’s not about him. If he says it enough, it will be true).

Junkyu squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the warm tears slip out. And then, a few things click. All the feelings that went unaddressed start getting unwarranted answers.

(Okay, fine. He’ll entertain himself, Junkyu thinks bitterly. He wonders if this is what insanity is like).

It’s not his first confrontation with himself in the depths of pouring nights, but it’s the first where he’s felt this much. Then again, he says that every time he has to go through this.

(Junkyu wonders how this could be any different, so he indulges himself).

He thinks about how erratic he feels sometimes, thinking that he about the emotions and thoughts he’s been chasing. He wonders and wonders what those emotions and thoughts really are. Whose expectations are they? Who does he chase them for? Does he even know what they are sometimes?

(Are they his own? No, Junkyu thinks, they can’t be).

But it lingers. Junkyu feels himself teetering on an edge.

(It’s not for him. It’s not for him).

But it is. And the clicks start stabbing into his conscious. Has it been the opposite this whole time?

(Yes).

Were the self convictions that all of Junkyu’s efforts and emotions he thought were for Hyunsuk actually so self-centered?

(He’s afraid to answer that).

The realizations keep slotting themselves into place, flipping his mindset upside-down—thinking that it was all for everyone but himself when it’s been the opposite the whole time. Convincing himself that it was all for Hyunsuk but feeling guilty when feelings of anxiety he thought were for Hyunsuk felt like a selfish cry for attention. Except, now Junkyu realizes they were neither solely for himself or Hyunsuk. They were for both of them.

(Is that considered ungrateful? Had he forced himself to forget himself? Not just himself, but everything that made him?)

That answer Junkyu had been looking for every time he wondered why his headspace kept getting invaded by seemingly pointless distractions was staring right in front of him the whole time. It was there when Junkyu watched in frustration and sadness how much Hyunsuk seemed to resist asking for help. It was there when Junkyu looked into Hyunsuk’s eyes to drag him out of his self imposed prison, and in the reflective, watery irises of Hyunsuk’s tormented stares, he saw himself. What Junkyu mistook as overbearingness was partially just that but also a diversion away from himself. What Junkyu mistook as misplaced anger was a need for comfort from somewhere deeper inside, somewhere that allowed him to find company with Hyunsuk’s pain. Junkyu wonders if what he sees in Hyunsuk, Hyunsuk sees in him, too.

He curls himself closer into his chest, arms wrapped tightly and protectively around himself. He cries into his chest, trying to swallow down the choked whimpers.

“Hyung?”

Junkyu freezes. He whips his head towards the wall, furiously wiping his face.

“Y-Yedam?” Junkyu croaked out. “What are you doing up? You have school tomorrow. You should be asleep.” He continues to stare into the wall, gasping for control over his breath. The only sign of response given is the sound of rustling sheets and quiet padding of footsteps. Junkyu tenses when he feels arms slip around his waist and a head rest against his back.

“You’re crying,” Yedam finally replies. “I can’t go to sleep knowing hyung is sad.” Junkyu’s lips twitch. He can almost hear the sleepy pout in Yedam’s voice.

A moment of calm washes of Junkyu. His body finally relaxes. After another quiet moment, Yedam mumbles, “Can I sleep with you?”

Junkyu hums. “You don’t need to ask.” He shifts himself, so Yedam can scoot in next to Junkyu, taking the spot next to him against the wall. Yedam’s hand is over Junkyu’s again. He doesn’t even realize it until he goes to pull the blanket over Yedam’s lap. Junkyu lets out a sigh as he finds his eyes roaming the ceiling.

“What were you thinking about?” Yedam’s voice comes soft and loving. It makes Junkyu gulp.

(Does Hyunsuk do the same?)

The torrential swarm of thoughts that Junkyu had been previously suffocating under comes back again. He tilts his head away from Yedam. Whether it’s out of embarrassment or shame, he doesn’t know.

(Actually, no, he does. It’s just become so instinctual that Junkyu doesn’t even need to think twice to protect Yedam from him and his own troubles).

Yedam rests himself on Junkyu again. “I don’t know what you’re thinking,” Yedam speaks up again. It’s too caring and concerning for Junkyu to take. “But you know you can lean on me too, right?” That simple question makes the stinging come back in full force with a weak noise trapped in his throat. Junkyu puffs out a breath of air, ready to laugh it off, but nothing comes out.

(Is this him being self-centered?)

There’s another pause, though it’s entirely unlike the previously peaceful one. The one that currently resides between them is so thick and laden with unspoken and long overdue words that Junkyu knows will all spill over any second.

(If Hyunsuk is the leader, then isn’t he his back up? His support? His armrest?)

“Hyung?” Yedam tries again softly, but this time, Junkyu can hear a hint of what he thinks is desperation.

(Or maybe it’s just his brain playing tricks on him again).

“Y-yes?” Junkyu winces out.

(Junkyu sees the self-imposed prison again, except it isn’t Hyunsuk he’s seeing now, it’s him. Just him, with Yedam looking inside. He wants Yedam to turn away. To hide Yedam from this pathetic version of him).

Yedam clings on tighter. “Y-you don’t have to say anything, just- I know this may sound kinda silly, but please tell me if there’s anything I can do to help or- if there’s anything I’ve done wrong...just please talk to me. I know I’m not around enough with school and all and you and Hyunsukie hyung are-”

A cord snaps inside Junkyu. He jerks his body so fast that it startles Yedam. Junkyu grips Yedam’s hand a little tighter. “Shhh, don’t talk like that. You’re doing your best, and we’re always going to be proud of you for being our talented, amazing, all-rounded magnificent God Yedam. If there’s anything we wanted to tell you, we would’ve done so by now.”

(...would he have?)

“But...you still see me as Yedam, right? Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions here...but you don’t need to change how you act around me now that you and Hyunsuk are the oldest now. With others, maybe sure, but you can still rely on me, ya know?”

(And the floodgates open).

They open when Junkyu makes his final major revelation of the night. They open when he can see the sheen of moisture over Yedam’s eyes. They open when a tear slips over the red rims of Yedam’s eyelid.

Junkyu realizes that he is self-centered, just not in the way he had originally thought or made himself think. So focused on being Treasure 13, he forgot to be himself. Not only that, he forgot the people who made him, well, him. Trying so hard to be a role model for the ones that knew him for a far shorter time, he must’ve lost Yedam along the way to chasing debut, now that it’s finally in their grasps. And the reason that he is able to make this final conclusion, Junkyu now understands, is because when Junkyu looks at Yedam--really looks at him--he isn’t just God Yedam. He isn’t just the kid Junkyu trained with for years, looked up to, and respected. When Junkyu carefully views into the windows of Yedam’s eyes, he sees an older world trapped inside a 16 year old’s body. He sees thunder and lightning muffled by an outward appearance of innocence and obedience. He sees floods cushioned by calloused levees built up from years of hidden hardships. He sees vibrant flora over old, layered Earth. And most important of all, amongst it all, he sees Yedam. Junkyu absorbs it all, everything he can and can’t see within Yedam. After all, it’s all still him.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t need to burden yourself with my emotional baggage,” Junkyu says. The words betray the feeling of his heart, slowly shedding the fortress he had built around it. He lets it down just for Yedam, just for tonight. Junkyu makes a silent promise to himself that he’ll be more careful, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to wall off Yedam completely after this.

(Not that he wants to anymore).

“It’s okay-” Yedam’s voice is small and weak now. “-I think we both needed this.”

And so Junkyu sits there with Yedam, placing his heart on his sleeve as Yedam does as well. They talk about everything, their insecurities, worries, and fears. They talk about their distant daydreams and persistent ponderings. They speak in rhythms and jokes, in music and passions. Junkyu doesn’t know how much time has passed. All he knows is there’s a lull in the conversation suddenly, where neither of them are speaking, only enjoying the company of each other. It’s not a pause of completion or conclusion but feels more like an offer of something new, a promise of something more, or at least something different.

“It’s late,” Junkyu comments. Yedam makes a sound from his throat, hoarse from crying. Understanding what Junkyu is implying, Yedam lets himself be lightly pushed down onto the bed. Junkyu lays himself in front of Yedam, threading his fingers through the younger’s hair. With his sinuses clear and cheeks stained with dry tears, Junkyu falls asleep with Yedam in his arms. It’s the best sleep he gets in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guesssss whoooose not deeeaaaad? :'D it's moi! been suffering from school and existential crises every other week but other than that I'm totalllyyy fiiiine. Anyway, my writing is regressing with every chapter but I just want to finish this dang fic at this point and move on to other projects lakjdsklaj I should probs learn how to let certain works go but for now, I have everything planned out and I am set on finishing!! Mark my words! Also, I'm doing the same thing I did with the chapter before of going ahead and posting and then going back to do final edits and revisions later. As such, to the few who still for whatever reason read and follow this fic, please do point out errors to me~ As always, thanks for reading.
> 
> I'm basically dead on all social media atm but if you'd like to shoot me a msg still, find me anywhere below :D  
> Twitter: @UJinblossoms  
> Tumblr: @frenchblue32  
> Instagram: @suncovered.snow


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